it's 2 days to the new year, so lemme just say...
HAPPY 2007!!!!!!!!!
alrightey.
i've been having the weirdest of dreams. it's not scary, in fact more like things i do regularly like go out, eat, chit-chat, etc...the weird part is the people or objects that are in my dreams. like last night, i dreamt i was dating this guy whom i don't really know that well, and he's much younger than me loh. it felt OK, but it was just plain weird la. like why would these people appear in my dreams as if i have another life altogether.
kinda like my dream and my reality is all intertwined in some warped sense.
so anyway, i hope it doesn't mean anything cause it's just...eeee...weird lah!
but i did realised something from my dream. haha...this is embarassing...ok, i found out that i do like being cuddled and hugged...like guys being touchy feely...i think it feels quite nice. not an overload of PDA (public display of affection, for the uninitiated), but some amount of it does feel good, like you are being doted or something.
let me reiterate again...IT WAS A DREAM!!!
hehe...makes me all girly for some reason. wahahahaaa...
Anyway, we have a New Year's Eve Countdown show at Hougang Mall tomorrow. Which means that's where I'll spend my New Year. ah well...my first countdown show la.
OK...have a good 2007 everyone!!!
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Hope everyone had a wonderful and joyous Christmas!!!
My Christmas wasn't too bad.
The X'mas Party at MC went pretty well. I had fun doing it, though it got really tiring. After that, went to celebrate X'mas the "adult" way, which means getting dressed up and drinking rose champagne and just chatting with good friends. I guess I got really tired because I had a massive headache.
X'mas eve was back to work for half-day. Then went out with Kite to Great World City cause it's pretty quiet there. Met up with Sylvia and Jay who just watched Curse of the Golden Flower there. Had dinner, then met up with the guys for coffee and dai dee at TCC. We watched Night in The Museum...and that show was damn hilarious loh! Haha..."my dum dum wants to speak" WAHAHAHAHAAAA~~~
Yah lah, then it was back home.
Thank you everyone who wished me merry x'mas and who got gifts for me, no matter big or small. I appreciate everything. Sorry i didn't send any msgs out or reply cause my fone was hanging perpetually. But I wish you all the same!
Side note: I got the mini water dispenser and bottle from shiyu and tony. wahahaha...I USED IT LIAO!!! thanks guys!!!
Yay...i have new wallet. MUACKS!
Thanks everyone, for the presents!!! muacks muacks muacks!!!
My Christmas wasn't too bad.
The X'mas Party at MC went pretty well. I had fun doing it, though it got really tiring. After that, went to celebrate X'mas the "adult" way, which means getting dressed up and drinking rose champagne and just chatting with good friends. I guess I got really tired because I had a massive headache.
X'mas eve was back to work for half-day. Then went out with Kite to Great World City cause it's pretty quiet there. Met up with Sylvia and Jay who just watched Curse of the Golden Flower there. Had dinner, then met up with the guys for coffee and dai dee at TCC. We watched Night in The Museum...and that show was damn hilarious loh! Haha..."my dum dum wants to speak" WAHAHAHAHAAAA~~~
Yah lah, then it was back home.
Thank you everyone who wished me merry x'mas and who got gifts for me, no matter big or small. I appreciate everything. Sorry i didn't send any msgs out or reply cause my fone was hanging perpetually. But I wish you all the same!
Side note: I got the mini water dispenser and bottle from shiyu and tony. wahahaha...I USED IT LIAO!!! thanks guys!!!
Yay...i have new wallet. MUACKS!
Thanks everyone, for the presents!!! muacks muacks muacks!!!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Time is of the essence!
it took me freaking forever to get to my blog! bloody pentium 2 ancient desktop i have at home. ..%^$#! can't wait for my new laptop to arrive!!
so anyway, have been rushing these past couple of days to get my xmas shopping done. i can safely say, it's more or less done. a little bit more to go...a bigger hole to burn in me pockets.
actually, the real fun in xmas and presents is not in the shopping, nor so much the giving. i figured, it's the wrapping that gets me really excited. thinking of how the person who is getting it will expect or not expect it...and everything that goes along with it! so i had fun wrapping the presents just now...until i ran out of tape. drats!
ok...i officially started the shopping and sussing of presents on friday noon, just before work at suntec. then, went late night shopping with evelyn, cat and their fren (forgot her name...oops!) at marina square on sat (coz they had extended hours). then went bugis after work on sunday night to look. continued today (mon - my off day) with jeremy, going all over the place to get more pressies. really tiring stuff man...poor jer had to not only walk a lot but drive a lot also...so i think his ass is sore liao. we went JB in the afternoon, then ikea where i got my wrapping stuff, then went bugis to meet tommy for a while, then went taka to finish up our present hunt.
and we are not done yet. yup...it never ends!
one last thing though...
i think xmas should be a time of joy and fun, and being surrounded by loved ones. it should be filled with happiness and appreciation for the people u love, who love you and who are around you. so i'm gonna enjoy this xmas and thank God that i have what i have. i'm not particularly religious (free-thinker actually), but i do believe that there is someone up there that sees and knows everything, and that my life will be played out exactly how He plans.
my mum told me the only thing she regrets is not giving us a religion (or something to that extent). so she told me to pray more and ask for guidance. yah...i think i will.
please stop raining...it's so dreadful!
so anyway, have been rushing these past couple of days to get my xmas shopping done. i can safely say, it's more or less done. a little bit more to go...a bigger hole to burn in me pockets.
actually, the real fun in xmas and presents is not in the shopping, nor so much the giving. i figured, it's the wrapping that gets me really excited. thinking of how the person who is getting it will expect or not expect it...and everything that goes along with it! so i had fun wrapping the presents just now...until i ran out of tape. drats!
ok...i officially started the shopping and sussing of presents on friday noon, just before work at suntec. then, went late night shopping with evelyn, cat and their fren (forgot her name...oops!) at marina square on sat (coz they had extended hours). then went bugis after work on sunday night to look. continued today (mon - my off day) with jeremy, going all over the place to get more pressies. really tiring stuff man...poor jer had to not only walk a lot but drive a lot also...so i think his ass is sore liao. we went JB in the afternoon, then ikea where i got my wrapping stuff, then went bugis to meet tommy for a while, then went taka to finish up our present hunt.
and we are not done yet. yup...it never ends!
one last thing though...
i think xmas should be a time of joy and fun, and being surrounded by loved ones. it should be filled with happiness and appreciation for the people u love, who love you and who are around you. so i'm gonna enjoy this xmas and thank God that i have what i have. i'm not particularly religious (free-thinker actually), but i do believe that there is someone up there that sees and knows everything, and that my life will be played out exactly how He plans.
my mum told me the only thing she regrets is not giving us a religion (or something to that extent). so she told me to pray more and ask for guidance. yah...i think i will.
please stop raining...it's so dreadful!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Ma..Ma...Material Girl!
no no...not channelling my inner-Madonna.
just been feeling rather moody...and with the bad weather and xmas coming and all, i need a little pick-me-up. so it's time for the annual (or quarterly) I WANT list:
I WANT...
just been feeling rather moody...and with the bad weather and xmas coming and all, i need a little pick-me-up. so it's time for the annual (or quarterly) I WANT list:
I WANT...
- a new lap top. (i hope my application for the cable upgrade is approved, then i can get the lap top that is given free with the new contract!!!)
- a new handyfone. (looking at the N80 or the pink shiny sony ericsson one...dunno wat model lah!)
- and talking about pink...the PINK PSP!!! (yeah...tony keeps reminding me if he was a girl, he'll get the pink one...i geddit, i geddit...btw, sidetrack...i dun actually like pink dat much, juz feeling girly)
- a new wallet where i can put notes, coins and cards and that can last me for a couple of years till i get rich enough to change to another one. (i know...my sis bought me a PINK coach one already, but it's more like a coin/key purse...so a bit small to put all my shit, u know? i still like it la...)
- a trip to Hong Kong so i can go meet shirley and xiao tu...missing them...=(
- followed by a trip to some relaxing place for a couple of days...do nothing...just sleep and relaxxxx...like bali or phuket or (my dream location) the maldives....ahhh~~~
- ok...this is gonna sound wierd, but a small vacuum cleaner to vacuum my room. wahaha...
- go to the new IKEA at tampines and imagine what i want in my home in future, buy things which i think i need but actually don't, and eat meatballs!!
- watch happy feet. nope...still haven't watch it yet! drats!!
- do a lord of the rings marathon, followed by a star wars marathon...i think i need at least 3 full days...2 to watch, 1 day to recover from the marathons.
- get new spectacles...i can't be seen in my current pair...jian bu de guang!!
- i got my sis a pair of gucci sunnies for her 21st birthday...i wan a pair too!!!
that's all i can think of...for now.
at the end of the day, all i really want are 2 things everyone wants...time and money! ha!
*Note to self: orh bi good! hiak hiakz...
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
bleeeahhh~~~!!
i actually thought of many many things to blog about.
but i'm a bit brain-drained already. so many things to do, to worry about and to think about...
oh, i haven't even started buying x'mas pressies yet...and i don't know if i'll have time to buy any. oh dear...there goes the moolah. HOW TO SAVE MONEY LIKE DAT?!?!?!
but it's ok lah. coz i like giving presents. just don't expect too much from me...hehehe.
anyway...
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!!!!!!
ok...brain drain. really!
but i'm a bit brain-drained already. so many things to do, to worry about and to think about...
oh, i haven't even started buying x'mas pressies yet...and i don't know if i'll have time to buy any. oh dear...there goes the moolah. HOW TO SAVE MONEY LIKE DAT?!?!?!
but it's ok lah. coz i like giving presents. just don't expect too much from me...hehehe.
anyway...
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!!!!!!
i haven't roared like that for a long time. hrmph...sometimes i wish everyone and everybody could just get along. or, just throw me at one remote paradise resort for one day so i can get away from everybody and everything and not have to bother about anything! can't we just eat, drink and be merry?!?!?!
ok...brain drain. really!
Friday, December 08, 2006
OH MY GOD!
I think it's gonna be the first time i'm saying this and i have a strong feeling this is only every gonna happen once in my entire life (unless by some miracle it happens again...).
I think my dad really understands me!!!
Anyway, let me just side-track a bit and digress (as usual).
This week was one hell of a week! I did a spa perm on monday, thanks to my uncle Jason, WHO IS THE DIRECTOR OF CHOICES THE SALON AT CENTREPOINT LEVEL 4!!! There! i did my credits and advertising duties already. he's been really great, doing my hair since i was a little girl and most of the time, my hair comes out good. i really like the perm, though it's a bit messy now. anyway, monday was hell partly cause i had to go for a meeting and rehearsal.
bad news part 1: i din do well for the singing competition, but let's not even go there. my votes weren't even close, and my song choice wasn't the best...so add the 2 elements together, you get a concoction for disaster at a singing competition held at a pub!
but i don't really mind. it was fun for as long as it last. just remind me never to join a competition that requires voting. i was never miss popular, and still isn't. it's just a slaughter-house for me. bleah!
oh yes...then there was chalet. that's another whole rollercoaster ride by itself...but before i say more, i'll go back to my original topic.
I think my dad really understands me!!!!
i can't say it enough. i mean, i can probably count with 1 hand how many people in my life really knows what i want and understand it. 2 of which is stef and shirley...and i think i can finally add 1 family member in...and it's surprisingly my dad.
no offence to anyone, friends or non-friends, but i really think so. you may think you understand someone well enough because of blood relations, or close-ness or whatever relationship it is. but it doesn't work that way. i've been trying to tell people to back off in recent weeks or days, not because i don't trust or don't care. i know people care about me or are concern, but i really believe that there is a kind of concern that is reserved only for a special few and this kind of concern is matured and non-pressurizing.
this is what i believe in:
words have so many meanings and one thing can be mis-construed in so many way. words can heal and can also hurt. sometimes, things that you say, which you think are said out of concern for others, can actually hurt more than you know. especially when it involves spreading of information. each time it travels from one mouth to another, it may get twisted with your own emotions or it may eventually sound far worse than it is. that's gossiping. and gossiping isn't good, positive energy in ALL accounts.
i'm sure everyone has done their bit of gossiping one way or another. maybe i'm part of a gossip speculating around also. in fact, i'm quite sure i am. i guess it comes with not telling people too much things about my personal life. i mean, even my parents don't hear much about me and my life.
why? because every little thing i tell them eventually comes back to haunt me. it's like the "i told you so" or "see lah see lah!".
and i think i started shielding myself from all these things since years back. i think when i reach a certain age, i should be given the freedom to make my own decisions and face my own consequences. i don't think i'm stupid. maybe some decisions i make are based on my own intuitions and feelings, maybe head over heart, or maybe heart over head. but whatever it is, i really want to be responsible for my own actions. it makes me really upset when people think i cannot handle myself or i am incapable of taking care of myself. once again...i am NOT stupid. i am human. i get happy, i get sat, i get angry or frustrated too...and that may cause me to lose sleep or appetite or my zest in life for a while. it won't KILL me!
which is why i guard my privacy so zealously. i mean, of course i hope to let people know when i am happy and share my thoughts, but it has come to a point where maybe it's just not advisable to do so.
at the end of the day, i really thank and appreciate all the people who have showed concern over me and tried to keep me company or make my happy.
but happiness is short-lived if i cannot find my own happiness, my own way, even if the way may be filled with lots of disappointments and sadness and anger. but if through those miserable times, i can still find happiness, i think people should be happy for me.
which comes back to my dad. he told me something yesterday that made me smile and made me really appreciate him. i really felt that he supported me and understood me without having to do anything in particular FOR me or be around me physically or even have to listen to me.
Just like stef and shir. They never judge me. they don't say things about me. they really listen and support me in my decisions, no matter good or bad. and i do the same for them. we may disagree on each others' decisions or choices, but we give each other the benefit of the doubt, and trust that we will make OUR OWN decisions, live by the consequences, and survive the highs and lows.
so thank you dears. i miss you 2 really really badly, but i'm really glad and relieved to have known the two of you. don't worry. i'm fine. will email you soon to update you!
and i wanna thanks my dad too...for telling me "don't tell her too much!"
heehee...
I think my dad really understands me!!!
Anyway, let me just side-track a bit and digress (as usual).
This week was one hell of a week! I did a spa perm on monday, thanks to my uncle Jason, WHO IS THE DIRECTOR OF CHOICES THE SALON AT CENTREPOINT LEVEL 4!!! There! i did my credits and advertising duties already. he's been really great, doing my hair since i was a little girl and most of the time, my hair comes out good. i really like the perm, though it's a bit messy now. anyway, monday was hell partly cause i had to go for a meeting and rehearsal.
bad news part 1: i din do well for the singing competition, but let's not even go there. my votes weren't even close, and my song choice wasn't the best...so add the 2 elements together, you get a concoction for disaster at a singing competition held at a pub!
but i don't really mind. it was fun for as long as it last. just remind me never to join a competition that requires voting. i was never miss popular, and still isn't. it's just a slaughter-house for me. bleah!
oh yes...then there was chalet. that's another whole rollercoaster ride by itself...but before i say more, i'll go back to my original topic.
I think my dad really understands me!!!!
i can't say it enough. i mean, i can probably count with 1 hand how many people in my life really knows what i want and understand it. 2 of which is stef and shirley...and i think i can finally add 1 family member in...and it's surprisingly my dad.
no offence to anyone, friends or non-friends, but i really think so. you may think you understand someone well enough because of blood relations, or close-ness or whatever relationship it is. but it doesn't work that way. i've been trying to tell people to back off in recent weeks or days, not because i don't trust or don't care. i know people care about me or are concern, but i really believe that there is a kind of concern that is reserved only for a special few and this kind of concern is matured and non-pressurizing.
this is what i believe in:
words have so many meanings and one thing can be mis-construed in so many way. words can heal and can also hurt. sometimes, things that you say, which you think are said out of concern for others, can actually hurt more than you know. especially when it involves spreading of information. each time it travels from one mouth to another, it may get twisted with your own emotions or it may eventually sound far worse than it is. that's gossiping. and gossiping isn't good, positive energy in ALL accounts.
i'm sure everyone has done their bit of gossiping one way or another. maybe i'm part of a gossip speculating around also. in fact, i'm quite sure i am. i guess it comes with not telling people too much things about my personal life. i mean, even my parents don't hear much about me and my life.
why? because every little thing i tell them eventually comes back to haunt me. it's like the "i told you so" or "see lah see lah!".
and i think i started shielding myself from all these things since years back. i think when i reach a certain age, i should be given the freedom to make my own decisions and face my own consequences. i don't think i'm stupid. maybe some decisions i make are based on my own intuitions and feelings, maybe head over heart, or maybe heart over head. but whatever it is, i really want to be responsible for my own actions. it makes me really upset when people think i cannot handle myself or i am incapable of taking care of myself. once again...i am NOT stupid. i am human. i get happy, i get sat, i get angry or frustrated too...and that may cause me to lose sleep or appetite or my zest in life for a while. it won't KILL me!
which is why i guard my privacy so zealously. i mean, of course i hope to let people know when i am happy and share my thoughts, but it has come to a point where maybe it's just not advisable to do so.
at the end of the day, i really thank and appreciate all the people who have showed concern over me and tried to keep me company or make my happy.
but happiness is short-lived if i cannot find my own happiness, my own way, even if the way may be filled with lots of disappointments and sadness and anger. but if through those miserable times, i can still find happiness, i think people should be happy for me.
which comes back to my dad. he told me something yesterday that made me smile and made me really appreciate him. i really felt that he supported me and understood me without having to do anything in particular FOR me or be around me physically or even have to listen to me.
Just like stef and shir. They never judge me. they don't say things about me. they really listen and support me in my decisions, no matter good or bad. and i do the same for them. we may disagree on each others' decisions or choices, but we give each other the benefit of the doubt, and trust that we will make OUR OWN decisions, live by the consequences, and survive the highs and lows.
so thank you dears. i miss you 2 really really badly, but i'm really glad and relieved to have known the two of you. don't worry. i'm fine. will email you soon to update you!
and i wanna thanks my dad too...for telling me "don't tell her too much!"
heehee...
Monday, December 04, 2006
i really wished...
it's been tough.
really really tough.
i know i haven't said anything to anybody, but that's cause i really don't want any feedback or advice or comments. so better not to let anybody know anything at all. talk is cheap...so i don't want to talk. thank u for caring, but please don't get the wrong info or ideas or watever it is.anyhow, i appreciate the concern, but they are my own battles to fight after all.
my head is swirling...too many things...
so i thot i'll just surf, read my mail, read some blogs randomly and hopefully catch up with some friends on the way.
but as i read the blogs...checked my friendster...it just feels worse.
i know it sounds really childish and really really silly, but there are just days where u wish u had the same things as some people, whether tangible or not.
in fact, most of the things i want are intangible, little things.
most of all, what i really wish for is to be seen as who i really am, all the different roles that i play in life, not just one...or two...or if you are lucky...three.
there are just days when i feel like i don't exist fully...and not completely by choice. for example writing in my own blog where i can't even be specific because who knows who is reading it. i think even real celebrities are less rigid than me.
i used to think that i made the right decisions about how i want to lead my life. that i should be understanding and be more sensitive about what i reveal or do or say. but now...when i see that sometimes it's ok to be open, and people appreciate you as a person more so (possibly cause you have nothing to hide), it isn't that bad. and i wish i could be accepted. don't we all?
so y can't i be the same? does my existence become a hindrance? a burden? a devaluation? an inadequacy? or an embarressment?
i have tried soooo hard to be positive and force a brave front. but the front breaks down with time...and it's been quite some time. i don't know how people do it...but i don't do it that well.
i have many inner demons. maybe too many. it makes me confused...and the confusion makes me angry...and the anger brings out all the bad energy. i look at happy people and i get angry, or maybe jealous that they are happy. that's why i have been trying to be alone...so i won't get all the negativity passed on from one to another. so i won't have any of those bad energy.
i want to just lie in bed for as long as i can and stay in the comfort of my thick comforter cause it's the only thing keeping me warm now. at least even if there isn't anyone to hug me, i feel like i'm being hugged. at least i can pretend that everything is ok and let the tv coax me to sleep. at least i can dream and live my life like i want to in dreamland.
waking up. dat's the difficult part.
to know that u have to start a new day again, and face the same demons again.
but really...
i don't know what to do.
i just wanna escape to my bed so i can get away from this world.
really really tough.
i know i haven't said anything to anybody, but that's cause i really don't want any feedback or advice or comments. so better not to let anybody know anything at all. talk is cheap...so i don't want to talk. thank u for caring, but please don't get the wrong info or ideas or watever it is.anyhow, i appreciate the concern, but they are my own battles to fight after all.
my head is swirling...too many things...
so i thot i'll just surf, read my mail, read some blogs randomly and hopefully catch up with some friends on the way.
but as i read the blogs...checked my friendster...it just feels worse.
i know it sounds really childish and really really silly, but there are just days where u wish u had the same things as some people, whether tangible or not.
in fact, most of the things i want are intangible, little things.
most of all, what i really wish for is to be seen as who i really am, all the different roles that i play in life, not just one...or two...or if you are lucky...three.
there are just days when i feel like i don't exist fully...and not completely by choice. for example writing in my own blog where i can't even be specific because who knows who is reading it. i think even real celebrities are less rigid than me.
i used to think that i made the right decisions about how i want to lead my life. that i should be understanding and be more sensitive about what i reveal or do or say. but now...when i see that sometimes it's ok to be open, and people appreciate you as a person more so (possibly cause you have nothing to hide), it isn't that bad. and i wish i could be accepted. don't we all?
so y can't i be the same? does my existence become a hindrance? a burden? a devaluation? an inadequacy? or an embarressment?
i have tried soooo hard to be positive and force a brave front. but the front breaks down with time...and it's been quite some time. i don't know how people do it...but i don't do it that well.
i have many inner demons. maybe too many. it makes me confused...and the confusion makes me angry...and the anger brings out all the bad energy. i look at happy people and i get angry, or maybe jealous that they are happy. that's why i have been trying to be alone...so i won't get all the negativity passed on from one to another. so i won't have any of those bad energy.
i want to just lie in bed for as long as i can and stay in the comfort of my thick comforter cause it's the only thing keeping me warm now. at least even if there isn't anyone to hug me, i feel like i'm being hugged. at least i can pretend that everything is ok and let the tv coax me to sleep. at least i can dream and live my life like i want to in dreamland.
waking up. dat's the difficult part.
to know that u have to start a new day again, and face the same demons again.
but really...
i don't know what to do.
i just wanna escape to my bed so i can get away from this world.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Please let me be...
I write this hoping that everybody around me reads it.
Some of you may or may not know, but I having many issues and things to handle with now. I know many people, family or friends, wish or hope to help me, but seriously, only I myself know what is really going on and how to handle from here.
I don't need advice.
I don't want to hear any gossips, whether true or not.
I don't want or need anybody's approval or disapproval.
I don't want or don't need anybody to tell me what to do because I am a big girl, I have brains and like it or not, I am more aware than you think I do.
In other words, I'm not blinded by anything or anyone or brainwashed or stupid.
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, don't make my life any harder than it is already.
I can handle it. And I will handle it.
Whether you like what I do or not, I don't really care. Because at the end of the day, this is my life and I decide how I want to live it.
If you love me, you will support me in what I do and just let me be. I think I am old enough to live and accept my own consequences, no matter good or bad.
Please.
Some of you may or may not know, but I having many issues and things to handle with now. I know many people, family or friends, wish or hope to help me, but seriously, only I myself know what is really going on and how to handle from here.
I don't need advice.
I don't want to hear any gossips, whether true or not.
I don't want or need anybody's approval or disapproval.
I don't want or don't need anybody to tell me what to do because I am a big girl, I have brains and like it or not, I am more aware than you think I do.
In other words, I'm not blinded by anything or anyone or brainwashed or stupid.
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, don't make my life any harder than it is already.
I can handle it. And I will handle it.
Whether you like what I do or not, I don't really care. Because at the end of the day, this is my life and I decide how I want to live it.
If you love me, you will support me in what I do and just let me be. I think I am old enough to live and accept my own consequences, no matter good or bad.
Please.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Expect the unexpected Pt 2: Life is a balance of good and bad stuff.
I didn't intend to do a part 2, and never did.
But that's just exactly how it's meant to be...expect the unexpected mah.
Anyway, I was at the results show for the first quarterfinals of PSS, guys and girls. I must say, I was quite shocked by the turn of events for most part of it. But i feel that everything happens for a reason, so no matter how shocking or unexpected things are, we should take it in positively. There is no point feeling angry or sad and thinking up all sorts of conspiracy theories that someone out there is trying to get you. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I think such things are, but just a step in your journey of life.
I guess that's why I didn't take it as hard as most people do. I don't think that's being heartless or cold-blooded or feeling no emotions. I feel disappointment and sadness and shock too. It's just that I choose to see matters in a more positive light. I hope I'm being positive instead of skeptical anyway.
So, it's things like these that makes you really drive home the point to not expect too much. Don't expect people to do things for you out of their own willingness and heart, but if they do, appreciate it. Don't expect things you see happen to others to also happen to you, just because people have it and you don't. Maybe it just makes you a better person that you don't have it as good as others. Don't expect to be treated nicely or treated like you want to, even if you see your friends or people around you being treated in a certain way. It may make you take things for granted. Don't expect the same of others. People are just not the same, and one relationship is different from the next. Nothing is written as a rule that all relationships should follow.
I guess I still have a long way to go, since I still tend to expect a lot from others and myself. Being human is just difficult. You need to manage your life, your emotions, your expectations, your happiness, your sadness, your satisfactions and your disappointments.
Anyway, was just singing this song the other day and I thought I'll put it in.
隐形人
无论你肯或不肯我都选择等
等到你结束好久探险的旅程
要是没有寂寞陪衬
没有途中的灰尘
你怎会向往家门
你越是想要诚恳其实越残忍
伪装不了你对我漠视的眼神
你不许我听信永恒
不许我迷信我们
不许我奋不顾身
多想化成隐形的人掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻
朋友都于心不忍责备我愚蠢
但他们都回避我执着的眼神
可知我对爱的虔诚
可知我迷信我们
可知我难得放任
But that's just exactly how it's meant to be...expect the unexpected mah.
Anyway, I was at the results show for the first quarterfinals of PSS, guys and girls. I must say, I was quite shocked by the turn of events for most part of it. But i feel that everything happens for a reason, so no matter how shocking or unexpected things are, we should take it in positively. There is no point feeling angry or sad and thinking up all sorts of conspiracy theories that someone out there is trying to get you. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I think such things are, but just a step in your journey of life.
I guess that's why I didn't take it as hard as most people do. I don't think that's being heartless or cold-blooded or feeling no emotions. I feel disappointment and sadness and shock too. It's just that I choose to see matters in a more positive light. I hope I'm being positive instead of skeptical anyway.
So, it's things like these that makes you really drive home the point to not expect too much. Don't expect people to do things for you out of their own willingness and heart, but if they do, appreciate it. Don't expect things you see happen to others to also happen to you, just because people have it and you don't. Maybe it just makes you a better person that you don't have it as good as others. Don't expect to be treated nicely or treated like you want to, even if you see your friends or people around you being treated in a certain way. It may make you take things for granted. Don't expect the same of others. People are just not the same, and one relationship is different from the next. Nothing is written as a rule that all relationships should follow.
I guess I still have a long way to go, since I still tend to expect a lot from others and myself. Being human is just difficult. You need to manage your life, your emotions, your expectations, your happiness, your sadness, your satisfactions and your disappointments.
Anyway, was just singing this song the other day and I thought I'll put it in.
隐形人
无论你肯或不肯我都选择等
等到你结束好久探险的旅程
要是没有寂寞陪衬
没有途中的灰尘
你怎会向往家门
你越是想要诚恳其实越残忍
伪装不了你对我漠视的眼神
你不许我听信永恒
不许我迷信我们
不许我奋不顾身
多想化成隐形的人掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻
朋友都于心不忍责备我愚蠢
但他们都回避我执着的眼神
可知我对爱的虔诚
可知我迷信我们
可知我难得放任
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Expect the unexpected.
It has been a rather queer and mind-boggling week.
And I'm gonna be slightly cryptic again, so bear with me for a while.
With the way how life is going and seeing competitions happening all around (three that are I'm involved in directly or indirectly right now), I can't help but become a bit skeptical of how things turn out. There are just some things you expect to happen and some you don't. Some things you wished happened, and some you just cannot avoid them happening.
It's just like life.
Sometimes you expect people to change for the better. Sometimes, you don't expect them to change but they do. Either way, the experience may be a pleasant or unpleasant one. You can't say for sure, cause everyone is different in the way they do things, the way they experience things, and their motives for doing so.
The tide was calm for a while...but I'm beginning to foresee a little bit of ripples coming forth.
You see shadows of the past coming up again, and you can't help but wonder if it's gonna happen all over again.
Cross your fingers!
And I'm gonna be slightly cryptic again, so bear with me for a while.
With the way how life is going and seeing competitions happening all around (three that are I'm involved in directly or indirectly right now), I can't help but become a bit skeptical of how things turn out. There are just some things you expect to happen and some you don't. Some things you wished happened, and some you just cannot avoid them happening.
It's just like life.
Sometimes you expect people to change for the better. Sometimes, you don't expect them to change but they do. Either way, the experience may be a pleasant or unpleasant one. You can't say for sure, cause everyone is different in the way they do things, the way they experience things, and their motives for doing so.
The tide was calm for a while...but I'm beginning to foresee a little bit of ripples coming forth.
You see shadows of the past coming up again, and you can't help but wonder if it's gonna happen all over again.
Cross your fingers!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Art imitates Life; Life imitates Art.
Busy busy busy. As usual, been busy with work. Actually, that's all I've ever been busy with. It's even more busy now cause it's the end of the year, more classes, more events, MC Super Idol and PSS is coming up. Tons of things to do. Never-ending things to do. Same as before. Same thing now.
Despite all the that, I've still managed to squeeze some time to have a life. Met up with Stef. We had a nice lunch at Marmalade Pantry at Palais Renaissance. It was such a nice place with nice ambience and nice food. Stef and shirley got me a philosophy fragrance, a little mirror and that nice lunch! Talked endlessly with Stef and desperately wished shir was with us too. Sigh...hugz babes! It was a good talk. Gave me a lot of perspective on many many issues, and very happy to know that Shir and Stef are happy doing what they are doing. Yes Stef, we need to look for our own fulfilment.
Went to watch the first QF round for PSS. Was sitting at Maxi's area cause I got tix from her. I think I made quite a racket there...slightly embarrassed at my hyperactivity. You just get sucked in by the whole mood and euphoria. Got tired even before Maxi started singing. wahahaha...Anyways, JIA YOU Maxi!!! Don't be disappointed! I think you did well, so must have faith in yourself...and in the voters too. wahahaha...(get the hint?!?!)
Had dinner with TT, Yeok, KT and Ja at New York New York yesterday. Food was that great but it was OK. More importantly, we finally met after much trials and tribulations. The gals got a cake and me and TT celebrated our birthday (albeit mine a bit belated). My first cake this year. Though I couldn't eat the cake, it was still fun to soak in the mood and make wishes and blow out candles. We just reminisced about old times and how other people were doing. Some things never change I guess.
My nights have not been the same.
Cause I've been caught up in a whirlwind. Totally immersed myself night after sleepless night.
It's called Princess Hours.
haha...or else?!?!?!
I'm at the last disc already. The show has totally sucked me in without me knowing. I guess it's not just the story, or the characters, or the beautiful clothes that has had such an addictive effect on me.
You know how sometimes we wish we were the characters in a show?
Well, for the first time. I actually know the characters in the show. It's pretty mind-shattering because it's as if the writers had been stalking me and taking my lines to put in the show. Of course, we all know that is not true. It's just that, I seem to remember myself saying the same things at certain points of the show. And I remember just as clearly that I got the exact same responses. It's pretty unnerving and unsettling.
Well, like I said, I'm hooked. So hooked that I borrowed my sis's portable DVD player so I could watch the DVD on my way to work. Yes...I am maaaaaaaaaaad.
I have 2 more episodes to go. My sis has been telling me that Ep 23 is the best. And that the story has a nice ending. An ending that I would definitely like. That's good then.
I hope my ending would be just as nice.
Despite all the that, I've still managed to squeeze some time to have a life. Met up with Stef. We had a nice lunch at Marmalade Pantry at Palais Renaissance. It was such a nice place with nice ambience and nice food. Stef and shirley got me a philosophy fragrance, a little mirror and that nice lunch! Talked endlessly with Stef and desperately wished shir was with us too. Sigh...hugz babes! It was a good talk. Gave me a lot of perspective on many many issues, and very happy to know that Shir and Stef are happy doing what they are doing. Yes Stef, we need to look for our own fulfilment.
Went to watch the first QF round for PSS. Was sitting at Maxi's area cause I got tix from her. I think I made quite a racket there...slightly embarrassed at my hyperactivity. You just get sucked in by the whole mood and euphoria. Got tired even before Maxi started singing. wahahaha...Anyways, JIA YOU Maxi!!! Don't be disappointed! I think you did well, so must have faith in yourself...and in the voters too. wahahaha...(get the hint?!?!)
Had dinner with TT, Yeok, KT and Ja at New York New York yesterday. Food was that great but it was OK. More importantly, we finally met after much trials and tribulations. The gals got a cake and me and TT celebrated our birthday (albeit mine a bit belated). My first cake this year. Though I couldn't eat the cake, it was still fun to soak in the mood and make wishes and blow out candles. We just reminisced about old times and how other people were doing. Some things never change I guess.
My nights have not been the same.
Cause I've been caught up in a whirlwind. Totally immersed myself night after sleepless night.
It's called Princess Hours.
haha...or else?!?!?!
I'm at the last disc already. The show has totally sucked me in without me knowing. I guess it's not just the story, or the characters, or the beautiful clothes that has had such an addictive effect on me.
You know how sometimes we wish we were the characters in a show?
Well, for the first time. I actually know the characters in the show. It's pretty mind-shattering because it's as if the writers had been stalking me and taking my lines to put in the show. Of course, we all know that is not true. It's just that, I seem to remember myself saying the same things at certain points of the show. And I remember just as clearly that I got the exact same responses. It's pretty unnerving and unsettling.
Well, like I said, I'm hooked. So hooked that I borrowed my sis's portable DVD player so I could watch the DVD on my way to work. Yes...I am maaaaaaaaaaad.
I have 2 more episodes to go. My sis has been telling me that Ep 23 is the best. And that the story has a nice ending. An ending that I would definitely like. That's good then.
I hope my ending would be just as nice.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Of Birthdays and Bangkok
I'm never one who is a sucker for birthdays.
Happy birthday to me...
Actually, the best part I like about birthdays, whether mine or others', are the presents. I love to give presents, and I equally love receiving them. So anyway, thanks to those who wished me happy birthday. I replied most of them pretty late coz I was on my way to Bangkok when most of the wishes came in. Oh! And thanks for all the pressies! I love them all, no matter big or small.
Yeah, and like I said, I'm never one who is a sucker for birthdays. So, I fled to Bangkok on my birthday. The trip was also my birthday pressie...so yay!! Went to the usual haunts...Chatuchak, Discovery Centre, MBK, Siam Square, Siam Centre, Siam Paragon, Chinatown and most of all, Suan Lum Night Bazaar (you must say it with a Thai twang...suan lum nite bisaar~). Went there on all 3 nights and always brought stuff back! wahahahaha...Oh yes, and I ate authentic Thai food on the roadside! Nope, I didn't get a tummyache.
So, some pics from my trip there.
Happy birthday to me...
Actually, the best part I like about birthdays, whether mine or others', are the presents. I love to give presents, and I equally love receiving them. So anyway, thanks to those who wished me happy birthday. I replied most of them pretty late coz I was on my way to Bangkok when most of the wishes came in. Oh! And thanks for all the pressies! I love them all, no matter big or small.
Yeah, and like I said, I'm never one who is a sucker for birthdays. So, I fled to Bangkok on my birthday. The trip was also my birthday pressie...so yay!! Went to the usual haunts...Chatuchak, Discovery Centre, MBK, Siam Square, Siam Centre, Siam Paragon, Chinatown and most of all, Suan Lum Night Bazaar (you must say it with a Thai twang...suan lum nite bisaar~). Went there on all 3 nights and always brought stuff back! wahahahaha...Oh yes, and I ate authentic Thai food on the roadside! Nope, I didn't get a tummyache.
So, some pics from my trip there.
My stuff at the end of Day 1 ...
A few other photos didn't make it here cause I don't know why.
Actually, there isn't much to update. Nothing much happened on my birthday except that I got presents and I went Bangkok. Didn't celebrate or much less had a slice of cake even. I can't even decide if it was one of my best or one of my worst birthdays ever. Ah well...I guess I'd settle for not too bad.
And as for Bangkok, I didn't take much pics and we did mostly shopping and eating and playing dai dee on our handphones. Dat's it. So nothing much there either.
Anyway, some stuff in my life are being sorted out now. I hope things will settle down in time to come. I don't know lah. Guess just take things a step at a time. Whatever will be, will be. I must learn not to linger or ponder too much. Sickens the mind and soul. Cheerios~
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
HAI....YAH!!
I start off this post with a sigh...(sighs...)
Why? I don't really know why. Well, maybe I do but it's not a single thing...it's an accumulation of things. Circumstances, personalities, emotions, etc etc etc...
The first thing on my mind would be me and jealousy. I used to think I don't get jealous easily. That I can tolerate a lot of things. Well, I kinda doubt it now. I think I am pretty jealous-prone. Maybe it's circumstances. Maybe it's personality (mine or the other half's). Maybe I just need to feel a bit more special than others.
There are acquaintances.
Then there are friends.
And close friends, maybe best friend.
Then lovers/boyfriend-girlfriends.
Then life partners (whether married or not)/soul mates.
I'm just gonna take family out of this because blood is thicker than water, so it's different.
Wait! Where does "fans" come under? Will they go from being acquaintances, to friends...or even close friends? Then what is the status quo? I know some supporters OR "fans" who eventually become friends, and even close friends. Nothing against them at all because without these people, a lot of things do not happen.
But just a question. You do have to draw a line between students and teachers. Yeah sure, you can be friends, but there is always a line you do not over-step. That's respect. And it's different from just chatting with a college old buddy because there are roles of authority. What about "fans" and "idols"? Do you draw a line? How much do they know about your life, or how much do you tell them?
I am really, really confused here. It seems there are no clear-cut answers. I see different things happening to different people. Some relationships get really bizarre. I don't know which part of these relationships are screwed up enough to make them so bizarre. Is it the environment? Or the people? Or the person.
Know what I really hate? I hate I can't be straight to the point in my own blog. Yes, I admit that I am an exhibitionist. That's why I blog. So people can read my thoughts. If I didn't want people to know my thoughts, I would write in a proper diary. So here's the dilemma or irony...
The Exhibitionist is unable or incapable of exhibiting her life.
Why? I don't really know why. Well, maybe I do but it's not a single thing...it's an accumulation of things. Circumstances, personalities, emotions, etc etc etc...
The first thing on my mind would be me and jealousy. I used to think I don't get jealous easily. That I can tolerate a lot of things. Well, I kinda doubt it now. I think I am pretty jealous-prone. Maybe it's circumstances. Maybe it's personality (mine or the other half's). Maybe I just need to feel a bit more special than others.
There are acquaintances.
Then there are friends.
And close friends, maybe best friend.
Then lovers/boyfriend-girlfriends.
Then life partners (whether married or not)/soul mates.
I'm just gonna take family out of this because blood is thicker than water, so it's different.
Wait! Where does "fans" come under? Will they go from being acquaintances, to friends...or even close friends? Then what is the status quo? I know some supporters OR "fans" who eventually become friends, and even close friends. Nothing against them at all because without these people, a lot of things do not happen.
But just a question. You do have to draw a line between students and teachers. Yeah sure, you can be friends, but there is always a line you do not over-step. That's respect. And it's different from just chatting with a college old buddy because there are roles of authority. What about "fans" and "idols"? Do you draw a line? How much do they know about your life, or how much do you tell them?
I am really, really confused here. It seems there are no clear-cut answers. I see different things happening to different people. Some relationships get really bizarre. I don't know which part of these relationships are screwed up enough to make them so bizarre. Is it the environment? Or the people? Or the person.
By the way, I don't have an agenda here... but I somehow figured out today that 2nd chances are hard to come by. So, if 2nd chances are not cherished, I will not be humiliated for my lousy judgement or beat myself up over sheer stupidity.
I will not tolerate another time if 2nd chances that I give are taken for granted again.
Yes. That's it.
Know what I really hate? I hate I can't be straight to the point in my own blog. Yes, I admit that I am an exhibitionist. That's why I blog. So people can read my thoughts. If I didn't want people to know my thoughts, I would write in a proper diary. So here's the dilemma or irony...
The Exhibitionist is unable or incapable of exhibiting her life.
Monday, October 16, 2006
We're halfway through October!
Didn't plan on blogging today cause I just wrote such a LONG and SERIOUS piece a couple of days back. I tell you, it was the hardest entry to write.
But well, since my sis have a new lappie and I got bored...
Let's see. Woke up at 1pm today. HAHAHA...FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I slept for a whole 12 hours I think. Felt damn shiok man! When will I get such luxury again, I wonder?
Went to have lunch...Pasta Mania. Ate my favourite beef lasagne. I swear I will try cooking that some day soon! I must! How can you cook everything but not know how to cook a favourite dish? It just doesn't make much sense. And so, I WILL DO IT...soon...haha
Then I went to play arcade, my favourite pastime on Monday. If you choose the right game, you could spend the least money wasting the most time! How effective! Didn't play my Time Crisis 2 today coz some brats were hogging the machine. I suspect there's a group or gang of brats conspiring to hog the machine so nice people with little free time, like me, can't play the game. DRATS!
Walked around a bit, though I've walked through Causeway Point probably a million times. I realised there's a Voxy at Metro. COOOOOOOOL. Only $10 for a basic mani, and $5 more for french mani. CHEAP!!!!!!!!!!!! I shall go there soon for a french mani! Too lazy to do my own manicures lately.
Then I watched Rob-B-Hood!!! OH MY GOD! The baby inside is soooooooooo cute! He has the most adorable face and beautiful eyes and lips! And he can kan jing tou very well! So clever!!! I wan!!!! hahaha...(*maternal instincts at work)
After dat, had MOS for dinner. Yummy! Another favourite!!! I bought the "High School Musical" VCD to do as homework. My vocal kids class students have been bugging me to teach them High School Musical and I am just totally clueless about it. So I need to keep up with the times, if ya know what I mean. Bought the VCD so hopefully, I can do the MMO for the songs and teach my kids the songs. MAN! I am such a pushover sometimes!
That's it I guess. I seldom write lame stuff about my life in my blog since I hardly have the time to do it. It feels kinda weird, in a good way. Ah well, we are halfway through October, which just means I have not much money left in my bank to last me till the end of the month.
MUST.NOT.SPEND.UNNECESSARILY.
But well, since my sis have a new lappie and I got bored...
Let's see. Woke up at 1pm today. HAHAHA...FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I slept for a whole 12 hours I think. Felt damn shiok man! When will I get such luxury again, I wonder?
Went to have lunch...Pasta Mania. Ate my favourite beef lasagne. I swear I will try cooking that some day soon! I must! How can you cook everything but not know how to cook a favourite dish? It just doesn't make much sense. And so, I WILL DO IT...soon...haha
Then I went to play arcade, my favourite pastime on Monday. If you choose the right game, you could spend the least money wasting the most time! How effective! Didn't play my Time Crisis 2 today coz some brats were hogging the machine. I suspect there's a group or gang of brats conspiring to hog the machine so nice people with little free time, like me, can't play the game. DRATS!
Walked around a bit, though I've walked through Causeway Point probably a million times. I realised there's a Voxy at Metro. COOOOOOOOL. Only $10 for a basic mani, and $5 more for french mani. CHEAP!!!!!!!!!!!! I shall go there soon for a french mani! Too lazy to do my own manicures lately.
Then I watched Rob-B-Hood!!! OH MY GOD! The baby inside is soooooooooo cute! He has the most adorable face and beautiful eyes and lips! And he can kan jing tou very well! So clever!!! I wan!!!! hahaha...(*maternal instincts at work)
After dat, had MOS for dinner. Yummy! Another favourite!!! I bought the "High School Musical" VCD to do as homework. My vocal kids class students have been bugging me to teach them High School Musical and I am just totally clueless about it. So I need to keep up with the times, if ya know what I mean. Bought the VCD so hopefully, I can do the MMO for the songs and teach my kids the songs. MAN! I am such a pushover sometimes!
That's it I guess. I seldom write lame stuff about my life in my blog since I hardly have the time to do it. It feels kinda weird, in a good way. Ah well, we are halfway through October, which just means I have not much money left in my bank to last me till the end of the month.
MUST.NOT.SPEND.UNNECESSARILY.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Discoveries...
I've discovered some things.
I discovered that trust must be earned. It can also become misguided, or misplaced. Once this trust has been taken for granted and you betray the trust given to you, you cannot expect to gain back the same amount of trust anymore. Not until you prove yourself worthy of that trust again, and it would take a LOT more than it once required.
I discovered that trust must be earned. It can also become misguided, or misplaced. Once this trust has been taken for granted and you betray the trust given to you, you cannot expect to gain back the same amount of trust anymore. Not until you prove yourself worthy of that trust again, and it would take a LOT more than it once required.
I discovered that some words go away after a while, even when you stare hard into them for hours on end, and some words stay forever with simply one glance. It really depends on how hard these words hit you in your gut. It would just keep replaying in your mind, and you just don't know when the words will dissipate so you have some peace.
I discovered that I should always trust myself and believe what I feel. Instincts should never be side-stepped for anything else, because if you cannot trust yourself, who else can you trust?
I discovered that you never know the true face of a person. One could say one thing and mean another, lie and pretend to be someone else that they are not.
I discovered that I have many people who love me and care for me, and would listen and be there for me, without having to be physically around. They will always be on my side, cheering me on, and boo-ing those who hurt me. (Author's note: Thank you!)
Discoveries aside, I have experienced what I wished for years ago. Let me just say, that was the dumbest, most stupid wish I have ever made.
Nevertheless, I wouldn't trade anything for this. It has opened my eyes to a world of discoveries and what could be. It has also given me more than what has been taken from me.
A word of advice, or warning...(it really depends on what your inclinations are)
Words can be a powerful tool. As a communications grad, I think I am qualified to say this. Besides, I think it's common knowledge. Words can bring you to high heavens, and it can also condemn you to the deepest abyss.
Especially when the media is involved.
Though they say that there is no such thing as good and bad publicity, you can be sure that words can do as much harm, as it can do as much good. Never underestimate the power of the pen, because that would be naive, gullible...and just plain dumb.
Remember: Words can MAKE you, and it can also BREAK you.
Enough negativities for the night.
I realised I have been caught up in my own world that I haven't said anything good to anyone. Since it's SUPERSTAR season, I guess I might as well make my blog relevant and useful. So whether the following people read my blog or not, here goes nothing...
Shiyu & Diya
YAY!!! Really happy that you two made it! You guys (ok...and gal) are soooo talented, I don't expect anything less. haha...pressure!!! No lah, seriously, I'm really glad for you both. I feel so proud to have once shared the stage with you two. Superstar leh!!! Do your best and do us proud! Let the world (or Singapore) see what you're made of!! JIA YOU!!!
Mao Mao Maxi
Haha...from day 1, you kept telling me to take your number and go audition on your behalf. I'm glad you perservered to the very end, and I'm also soooo happy that you made it too. I promised that I would tell your story in my blog. I'll do it soon, before the TV broadcasts start, so that the world (or Singapore) will know your story, and VOTE for you! Don't worry, I'll vote for you too. HAHAHAHAHAHA...if only they knew...hiak hiak hiak...
Darren, Dawn, Veron and Kewei
Congrats!!! Swoon the public over with (in respective order)...your smile and charming voice, your charisma and uniquely distinguishable voice, your energy and personality, and your sincere and groovy voice. Jia you orh!
Oh yes, the MC Super Idol has finally started! Good luck to all those auditioning!!
Monday, October 09, 2006
everything is much better...for now.
u should never ignore your intuitions.
i was right about something bad coming up...so the week was just significantly worse than the other weeks. but i'm glad it became better by the weekend. coz if it didn't, you'd see me do a magic trick -- me disappearing before your own eyes!! wow!!!
so i just lost like 1kg, but i'm gaining it back already. never knew i could lose any weight, since i've been pretty much THE SAME in like...err...7 years? hahaha...
anyway...good news and bad!
the good news is, a lot of people from MC got into the Top 24. diya, shiyu, darren, maxi, dawn and veron. happy for them! kewei got in too! congrats people and just do ur best and have fun with the process k?
bad news...tony and zijie didn't get in. but i guess life's like that. it's fated, whatever happens, so cheer up guys! something will eventually work out for u, i believe so!
i had a bit of time to read my past GP essay. i kept a couple of them from my JC days. read those that garnered me 30+ marks (not easy k?!?!?!). i realised...i'm dumber now. hahaha....i'm amazed by JUST how cheem i sounded...it's unbelieveable that i wrote those and thought so much about certain stuff. i really DUN remember how i did it. i even kept the one FLUKE essay that i did towards the end of my JC years. i remember that i really didn't have the mood to write the last essay, so i just anyhow wrote one which was about 1 1/2 pages long. my tutor used to tell us that any essay less than 2 pages long (without line breaks) was a sure-fail! i really didn't care...just wanted to get it done, so i chip-chopped it and got it done in less than 1 1/2hrs. i expected to fail...but somehow, by some miracle, i passed! 26/50! even when my tutor saw my paper, she wanted to scold me for doing shoddy work, but all she could say was "this is a fluke...u are very lucky!"
hahahahahaha....those were the days!
i just wanna digress a bit and tell the world that i finished a CARL'S JR burger for the 1st time!!!! i never finish their burgers coz they are sooooo huge! but i was starved yesterday...so everything went right into my tummy! yummy...love the chilli cheese fries too!
i'm in the mood for some drinking. either wine or beer...doesn't matter. it's just that i haven't went out to chill in a long time! kinda miss it. somebody! anybody! jio me for drinking session ok?!?!?! it's like a craving...oooh....
alright lah. that shall be all for now. cheerios~~~
i was right about something bad coming up...so the week was just significantly worse than the other weeks. but i'm glad it became better by the weekend. coz if it didn't, you'd see me do a magic trick -- me disappearing before your own eyes!! wow!!!
so i just lost like 1kg, but i'm gaining it back already. never knew i could lose any weight, since i've been pretty much THE SAME in like...err...7 years? hahaha...
anyway...good news and bad!
the good news is, a lot of people from MC got into the Top 24. diya, shiyu, darren, maxi, dawn and veron. happy for them! kewei got in too! congrats people and just do ur best and have fun with the process k?
bad news...tony and zijie didn't get in. but i guess life's like that. it's fated, whatever happens, so cheer up guys! something will eventually work out for u, i believe so!
i had a bit of time to read my past GP essay. i kept a couple of them from my JC days. read those that garnered me 30+ marks (not easy k?!?!?!). i realised...i'm dumber now. hahaha....i'm amazed by JUST how cheem i sounded...it's unbelieveable that i wrote those and thought so much about certain stuff. i really DUN remember how i did it. i even kept the one FLUKE essay that i did towards the end of my JC years. i remember that i really didn't have the mood to write the last essay, so i just anyhow wrote one which was about 1 1/2 pages long. my tutor used to tell us that any essay less than 2 pages long (without line breaks) was a sure-fail! i really didn't care...just wanted to get it done, so i chip-chopped it and got it done in less than 1 1/2hrs. i expected to fail...but somehow, by some miracle, i passed! 26/50! even when my tutor saw my paper, she wanted to scold me for doing shoddy work, but all she could say was "this is a fluke...u are very lucky!"
hahahahahaha....those were the days!
i just wanna digress a bit and tell the world that i finished a CARL'S JR burger for the 1st time!!!! i never finish their burgers coz they are sooooo huge! but i was starved yesterday...so everything went right into my tummy! yummy...love the chilli cheese fries too!
i'm in the mood for some drinking. either wine or beer...doesn't matter. it's just that i haven't went out to chill in a long time! kinda miss it. somebody! anybody! jio me for drinking session ok?!?!?! it's like a craving...oooh....
alright lah. that shall be all for now. cheerios~~~
Monday, October 02, 2006
my regular monday rantings
yes, ladies and gentlemen. it's monday again. how time flies...it's OCTOBER already.
anyway, just the other day, i heard lili say something which brought back a lot of memories. it's something that i remember proclaiming in one of my blogs years back and writing a whole opinionated piece about it that i think my GP teacher would have been so proud of. the sacred phrase is...
"ren2 shi4 fan4 jian4 de4."
and yes...so true, so true.
it really is. one minute, something could be the BIGGEST thing you'd ever done or ever been in, and the next minute, once the door is shut on your face...it becomes not worth it. well, somehow, that thing was worth your time, money and/or effort when you want it. sometimes, we know...or rather, we have an idea of what may or may not happen. you do something, knowing full well that, like all things in the world, it could go one way or another. when it goes the way you want, everything is fine and dandy and you are the king/queen of the world. when it goes the other way, totally against you, you lament about how life is unfair and blah blah blah...
yeah...everyone goes through that one time or other. i think i may have done it myself.
so i say, ren shi fan jian de.
but i'm not dissing anyone lah. as much as i don't like hearing such stuff or seeing such stuff, there's nothing much i can do anyway. i can't control other people's lives or tell them to do or say things lah. the most i can do is rant in here, and hope and pray that i don't become the person that i preach about.
ok, anyway, i'm NOT in an angsty mood. in fact, today has been a rather good, relaxing day. i felt really good despite the lack of sleep (couldn't sleep until 4.30am coz my brains have this inate ability to think too much). i wish this day could have gone on and on without intermissions, but time stops for no man.
anyway, i started thinking about gossips and rumours, in a general sense. some celebrities, or familiar faces, like to keep their status a secret, while some just don't really care and tell people that they are/are not in a relationship. i mean, i understand that sometimes, it courts bad publicity (if there is SUCH a thing as bad publicity). i mean, look at jenn & brad, bennifer, jay and patty...etc. it didn't do them good, right? but then, i look at the situation in singapore, and i really don't think there is any comparison. y? coz the market is so small, the place is so small everyone knows someone, and seriously, we don't really get very affected but such news. not as much as those overseas anyway.
anyway, my point is...i really wonder what would the backlash be like, if people knew that their idol suddenly became...un-single? i mean, they go on and on about supporting them for their talents and hard work and determination (and probably good looks lah, oh please!). so what if they were not single anymore? does that mean you don't support them as much? since when did being in a relationship made one LESS talented, LESS hard-working, LESS determined?
hmm...food for thought, ain't it? can you imagine the poor gal/guy who has to be kept at an arm's length just so that no one would know? funny eh, nobody thinks of the other person, just coz he/she is not as important as the famous face. nobody knows how much the other person has to tolerate, has to sacrifice, has to compromise (by compromise, it means give in), or how much insecurity/jealousy/anger/sadness he/she goes through and can't tell, can't show.
now, what do you think of that idol of yours now?
and isn't it wierd that so far, in all the major talent shows/competitions in singapore, only GUYS have won?
anyway, just the other day, i heard lili say something which brought back a lot of memories. it's something that i remember proclaiming in one of my blogs years back and writing a whole opinionated piece about it that i think my GP teacher would have been so proud of. the sacred phrase is...
"ren2 shi4 fan4 jian4 de4."
and yes...so true, so true.
it really is. one minute, something could be the BIGGEST thing you'd ever done or ever been in, and the next minute, once the door is shut on your face...it becomes not worth it. well, somehow, that thing was worth your time, money and/or effort when you want it. sometimes, we know...or rather, we have an idea of what may or may not happen. you do something, knowing full well that, like all things in the world, it could go one way or another. when it goes the way you want, everything is fine and dandy and you are the king/queen of the world. when it goes the other way, totally against you, you lament about how life is unfair and blah blah blah...
yeah...everyone goes through that one time or other. i think i may have done it myself.
so i say, ren shi fan jian de.
but i'm not dissing anyone lah. as much as i don't like hearing such stuff or seeing such stuff, there's nothing much i can do anyway. i can't control other people's lives or tell them to do or say things lah. the most i can do is rant in here, and hope and pray that i don't become the person that i preach about.
ok, anyway, i'm NOT in an angsty mood. in fact, today has been a rather good, relaxing day. i felt really good despite the lack of sleep (couldn't sleep until 4.30am coz my brains have this inate ability to think too much). i wish this day could have gone on and on without intermissions, but time stops for no man.
anyway, i started thinking about gossips and rumours, in a general sense. some celebrities, or familiar faces, like to keep their status a secret, while some just don't really care and tell people that they are/are not in a relationship. i mean, i understand that sometimes, it courts bad publicity (if there is SUCH a thing as bad publicity). i mean, look at jenn & brad, bennifer, jay and patty...etc. it didn't do them good, right? but then, i look at the situation in singapore, and i really don't think there is any comparison. y? coz the market is so small, the place is so small everyone knows someone, and seriously, we don't really get very affected but such news. not as much as those overseas anyway.
anyway, my point is...i really wonder what would the backlash be like, if people knew that their idol suddenly became...un-single? i mean, they go on and on about supporting them for their talents and hard work and determination (and probably good looks lah, oh please!). so what if they were not single anymore? does that mean you don't support them as much? since when did being in a relationship made one LESS talented, LESS hard-working, LESS determined?
hmm...food for thought, ain't it? can you imagine the poor gal/guy who has to be kept at an arm's length just so that no one would know? funny eh, nobody thinks of the other person, just coz he/she is not as important as the famous face. nobody knows how much the other person has to tolerate, has to sacrifice, has to compromise (by compromise, it means give in), or how much insecurity/jealousy/anger/sadness he/she goes through and can't tell, can't show.
now, what do you think of that idol of yours now?
and isn't it wierd that so far, in all the major talent shows/competitions in singapore, only GUYS have won?
Monday, September 25, 2006
there are just days that pass and you keep thinking if whatever you have done in your life is exactly what you want. then, there are also days that pass and you wonder if life is good or not?
i have been having quite a bit of free time lately. i really don't know if that's good or bad.
there is an ominous feel to it though. somehow, i have a slight hunch that something is gonna go wrong, or something bad is gonna happen. bad to me? bad to the people i love? or just something generally bad? don't know...but it isn't a good feeling that's for sure.
and i don't like this feeling. it haunts me somehow. i feel tension, so much so i get kinda restless and yet, kinda on-the-edge.
i hope i'm wrong. i keep telling myself that i'm just being over-sensitive and psycho-ing myself out too much.
but anyway, i will do something i often do right now.
DIGRESS.
i dug out my Meteor Garden VCD coz i just had a sudden urge to catch it all over again. if i complete the whole series (i'm at episode 4 now), it'll be my 11th time. yeah...i'm a sucker for idol dramas and in particular, fairytale romance. i sometimes wish my life was a bit of a drama, so i can write it into a script and see it being acted out. that'll be fun. but i dun think my life is interesting or DRAMA enough to be written into a script.
come to think of it, if people really knew the full story of my life thus far (and i mean, every single thing), it would make a really good drama production.
how would i describe the story? it would be one story of true friendship, pursuing passion, secrets, sacrifices, and of course, like all true drama should have, the journey of love.
haha...
you know, the say that most scorpios live mysteriously. that's so true. i sometimes think i have a double life...maybe even triple life. my mum thinks i should go be a spy coz i'm so secretive, and i keep a secret well. haha...she's been saying that since i was a tween.
no, but seriously, it's not healthy to keep too many secrets. i know that, but somehow, it's inherent in me. plus, these are circumstances that i've signed up for.
oh well...there are things i can control, and some things i just can't control.
cross my fingers and hope for the best.
i have been having quite a bit of free time lately. i really don't know if that's good or bad.
there is an ominous feel to it though. somehow, i have a slight hunch that something is gonna go wrong, or something bad is gonna happen. bad to me? bad to the people i love? or just something generally bad? don't know...but it isn't a good feeling that's for sure.
and i don't like this feeling. it haunts me somehow. i feel tension, so much so i get kinda restless and yet, kinda on-the-edge.
i hope i'm wrong. i keep telling myself that i'm just being over-sensitive and psycho-ing myself out too much.
but anyway, i will do something i often do right now.
DIGRESS.
i dug out my Meteor Garden VCD coz i just had a sudden urge to catch it all over again. if i complete the whole series (i'm at episode 4 now), it'll be my 11th time. yeah...i'm a sucker for idol dramas and in particular, fairytale romance. i sometimes wish my life was a bit of a drama, so i can write it into a script and see it being acted out. that'll be fun. but i dun think my life is interesting or DRAMA enough to be written into a script.
come to think of it, if people really knew the full story of my life thus far (and i mean, every single thing), it would make a really good drama production.
how would i describe the story? it would be one story of true friendship, pursuing passion, secrets, sacrifices, and of course, like all true drama should have, the journey of love.
haha...
you know, the say that most scorpios live mysteriously. that's so true. i sometimes think i have a double life...maybe even triple life. my mum thinks i should go be a spy coz i'm so secretive, and i keep a secret well. haha...she's been saying that since i was a tween.
no, but seriously, it's not healthy to keep too many secrets. i know that, but somehow, it's inherent in me. plus, these are circumstances that i've signed up for.
oh well...there are things i can control, and some things i just can't control.
cross my fingers and hope for the best.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
i'll be nice for a while...
i think i'm slowly getting out of the negative state of mind. that's good i guess. i'm trying to psycho myself to be less negative, less irritated and less angry.
i try lah, huh?
in any case, we had a little surprise "visit" by kym ng. she was at MC to choose songs that she had to sing for an event in JB. so i help to choose some moderately fast and light songs. then she wanted to record them, but anthony wasn't free, so i helped her "produce" the 2 songs. she's really really nice and down to earth. very funny and very positive. she doesn't have any airs about her at all! wow! i feel a bit overwhelmed by her presence. she just gives off this glow about her.
ok...now i'm just raving...i shall stop.
thailand is in a state of emergency. i hope everything will be fine there, coz i will be going there soon for my seasonal shopping spree, plus i have friends and relatives there.
ok, i digress yet again.
i was reading entries of a diary...like an actual BOOK diary ah, not blog. i wrote those way back in 2001, when i just entered university. i didn't realise it then, but i really did nothing except study during my first semester. i think i really missed studying at that point coz i hadn't done any studying for about 6 months. so when uni started, i was really excited about doing a course i like and genuinely looking forward to projects, presentations and all. i mean, i hated exams all the same, but i seriously studied hard for the exams even though i thought i didn't. Ended up doing REALLY well for my first semester...my best ever in fact.
it all went downhill from there. haha...nah, not that bad lah.
anyway, i also read about all the stupid and silly things i've done or said, with stef and shir especially. i dun remember much of the exact stuff we did, but reading them brought back tons of memories. i truly believe we all have our "dumb" past. hahaha...it was hilarious.
so i'm keeping a physical, proper diary again. just for kicks.
i miss stef and shir. shir is dancing in HK...good job gal! i know u are doing well there so keep up the good work! stef has been busy flying. i hope she is taking good care of herself and getting enough rest too!
ah~~~those were the days, my friends. =)
i try lah, huh?
in any case, we had a little surprise "visit" by kym ng. she was at MC to choose songs that she had to sing for an event in JB. so i help to choose some moderately fast and light songs. then she wanted to record them, but anthony wasn't free, so i helped her "produce" the 2 songs. she's really really nice and down to earth. very funny and very positive. she doesn't have any airs about her at all! wow! i feel a bit overwhelmed by her presence. she just gives off this glow about her.
ok...now i'm just raving...i shall stop.
thailand is in a state of emergency. i hope everything will be fine there, coz i will be going there soon for my seasonal shopping spree, plus i have friends and relatives there.
ok, i digress yet again.
i was reading entries of a diary...like an actual BOOK diary ah, not blog. i wrote those way back in 2001, when i just entered university. i didn't realise it then, but i really did nothing except study during my first semester. i think i really missed studying at that point coz i hadn't done any studying for about 6 months. so when uni started, i was really excited about doing a course i like and genuinely looking forward to projects, presentations and all. i mean, i hated exams all the same, but i seriously studied hard for the exams even though i thought i didn't. Ended up doing REALLY well for my first semester...my best ever in fact.
it all went downhill from there. haha...nah, not that bad lah.
anyway, i also read about all the stupid and silly things i've done or said, with stef and shir especially. i dun remember much of the exact stuff we did, but reading them brought back tons of memories. i truly believe we all have our "dumb" past. hahaha...it was hilarious.
so i'm keeping a physical, proper diary again. just for kicks.
i miss stef and shir. shir is dancing in HK...good job gal! i know u are doing well there so keep up the good work! stef has been busy flying. i hope she is taking good care of herself and getting enough rest too!
ah~~~those were the days, my friends. =)
Sunday, September 17, 2006
trial and error
These are trying times, people. Trying times.
I'm the kind of person who likes to experiment with stuff and do things by trial and error. That's how I learn.
I just spent about half an hour trying to figure out how to get my sidebar back to the right SIDE...as it should be, instead of at the bottom of the posts. I just kept changing the html in the only way i know how...trial and error. I finally got it, so that makes me feel pretty good. I'm satisfied now.
I wanted to rave about the Jay Chou's new album, Still Fantasy.
Note: "wanted".
I think my excitment and enthusiasm with sharing my thoughts of the album is suddenly suspended. To be honest, I'm pretty down.
Down to a new low.
Partly coz i've just got a visit from a "relative".
Yeah...that one.
And then, I got pissed off at work for a couple of stuff. Pretty pissed that I don't wanna mention it coz it'll just fill me up with molten hot rage again. And to make matters worse, I had the worst MRT crowd around me on the way home. Got pushed, shoved, suffocated and stepped on.
I am quite sure the whole world is against me.
And so I hate the world for that.
So, just basically feeling like crap.
F***!
I don't even know what to write anymore.
Irony:
Just read the cover of a past issue of CLEO. It says exactly this: "I'm ugly, stupid and unsuccessful" Join us in the campaign to fight self-loathing
Very...funny...loh...
NOT!
No offence to anyone, but SCREW THE WORLD!!!
(P/s: I don't need comforting or anything like that...but thanks for the thought anyway.)
I'm the kind of person who likes to experiment with stuff and do things by trial and error. That's how I learn.
I just spent about half an hour trying to figure out how to get my sidebar back to the right SIDE...as it should be, instead of at the bottom of the posts. I just kept changing the html in the only way i know how...trial and error. I finally got it, so that makes me feel pretty good. I'm satisfied now.
I wanted to rave about the Jay Chou's new album, Still Fantasy.
Note: "wanted".
I think my excitment and enthusiasm with sharing my thoughts of the album is suddenly suspended. To be honest, I'm pretty down.
Down to a new low.
Partly coz i've just got a visit from a "relative".
Yeah...that one.
And then, I got pissed off at work for a couple of stuff. Pretty pissed that I don't wanna mention it coz it'll just fill me up with molten hot rage again. And to make matters worse, I had the worst MRT crowd around me on the way home. Got pushed, shoved, suffocated and stepped on.
I am quite sure the whole world is against me.
And so I hate the world for that.
So, just basically feeling like crap.
F***!
I don't even know what to write anymore.
Irony:
Just read the cover of a past issue of CLEO. It says exactly this: "I'm ugly, stupid and unsuccessful" Join us in the campaign to fight self-loathing
Very...funny...loh...
NOT!
No offence to anyone, but SCREW THE WORLD!!!
(P/s: I don't need comforting or anything like that...but thanks for the thought anyway.)
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Karma~karma~karma~karma~ karma~karmelia~~
I think it's a human thing for people to take things for granted. That's how the world works, because that is as human as you can get.
I don't deny...sometimes I do take things for granted without me knowing. I'm sure everyone does too. But I try not to think that everyone owes me or better still, try to give without asking for returns. I think life is much simpler and better when it's like that.
Then, there's also something called karma, which I kinda believe in. For the uniniated, it means that whatever you do or say will come back to you. It's pretty cosmic. Like if I said you're fat, I'll probably be fat in the future (Errr...not the best of analogies here).
In any case, I'm being slightly philosophical because I've been seeing and hearing people take things or granted...like it's MEANT to be like that or it's SUPPOSED to be this way and that way. I don't really buy that. This may sound pretty passive but that's just that. Yes, yes, we do have to strive hard and be determined to get what we want...you know, go ALL OUT to achieve things. But I've been thinking...what we get back...is it "returns of investment" or have things been given to us.
I do feel that we have been given things easily. In fact, too easily, that we don't think about where it came from or how it's been given to us. The sacrifices behind them, the stories, other people's hardship, determination and humility, etc. Quite simply, we just take it for granted. I know I've done that sometimes...
And the other thing we humans like to do? Compare.
It's all a vicious cycle. We compare ourselves to others in similar situations like us, usually in similar BUT better situations than us. And we wonder why is it that other people can have what they have, and we don't. Nobody really compares downwards. What others see as chances and opportunities, we see it as it's SUPPOSED to be like that. Why? Maybe coz we think we're better than them or we have a slight edge over them. But having something more doesn't mean anything if you don't work hard enough or have the humility to do better. It doesn't make us feel any happier too...coz you waste half your time thinking why you were not given things JUST LIKE OTHER PEOPLE.
But everybody is different. Every situation is different. I truly believe if we are appreciative of what we are given (without any 'BUT's), we'll live much more fruitful lives and be happier. Why make life so miserable?
I admit that sometimes, I get caught up in all the bulls*** that happens around me. But I try. I really try to just be thankful for everything I have, no matter how little or how big. I'm not religious...so I guess I just thank the people who have given me what I have today...and the cosmic forces too.
Friday, September 08, 2006
11.18pm on a Friday night.
As most people know...I DON'T HAVE A LIFE. Partly coz my job spans 6 days and the only day off I have is on Monday which is a day where no proper life exists. And the day off I have is spent on running errands, cleaning my room (a bit), meeting friends (if they are free) and cooking dinner for my family.
YES YES YES...I KNOW HOW TO COOK LAH!
So yes...it's the weekends but what are weekends but jam-packed days?
Alamak! It's the jolin and david tao song on radio now. YIKES! Ok lah...quite sweet, very un-david tao-ish.
Anyway as I was saying...I actually have something planned this weekend!!! I HAVE A LIFE, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
It's Tommy's birthday this Sunday. He's celebrating on Saturday at this karaoke pub. WAHAHAHAHA...Drinking and singing...I LIKEEEE.............
Jolin in the house...DT~ in the house...Jolin in the house...DT~ in the house...
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to get that song out of my system. Ive been waking up with that song in my head...especially that "in the house" part. OH MAN!!! Sometimes I just wake up with the strangest song in my head. I think today was some 90s song or something. I remember singing while bathing and I just stopped coz I grossed myself out.
So anyway, while waiting for Irvin to finish class today, I was BIAO-ING songs. Sang the new Ah-Mei songs and the Cao Ge's songs. SHIOK lah!!! I haven't sing so much for a while. Really shuang daaaooooooo!!!!
OK...I'm too hyper now. Think I'm too excited coz I finally get to write this LONG crappy post and it's nearly mid-night soon and I drank coffee just now and sang very HIGH songs!
Think I better stop.
YES YES YES...I KNOW HOW TO COOK LAH!
So yes...it's the weekends but what are weekends but jam-packed days?
Alamak! It's the jolin and david tao song on radio now. YIKES! Ok lah...quite sweet, very un-david tao-ish.
Anyway as I was saying...I actually have something planned this weekend!!! I HAVE A LIFE, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
It's Tommy's birthday this Sunday. He's celebrating on Saturday at this karaoke pub. WAHAHAHAHA...Drinking and singing...I LIKEEEE.............
Jolin in the house...DT~ in the house...Jolin in the house...DT~ in the house...
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to get that song out of my system. Ive been waking up with that song in my head...especially that "in the house" part. OH MAN!!! Sometimes I just wake up with the strangest song in my head. I think today was some 90s song or something. I remember singing while bathing and I just stopped coz I grossed myself out.
So anyway, while waiting for Irvin to finish class today, I was BIAO-ING songs. Sang the new Ah-Mei songs and the Cao Ge's songs. SHIOK lah!!! I haven't sing so much for a while. Really shuang daaaooooooo!!!!
OK...I'm too hyper now. Think I'm too excited coz I finally get to write this LONG crappy post and it's nearly mid-night soon and I drank coffee just now and sang very HIGH songs!
Think I better stop.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
nothing gd is coming out of this...
i remember very clearly writing an entry in my very first blog a couple of years back. i said something like...blog entries are usually depressing by nature coz that's why there is SOMETHING to write about. i mean, happy times are spent being satisfied without having to tell anyone. either that or they are taken for granted. there are the rare times where you wanna tell the whole world something GREAT that happened. but they are rare...
so yeah...they are usually depressing...or sad...or frustrating...
nothing wrong with that really.
coz the world is a sad sad place sometimes.
other times...it's just UNFAIR (quoting tony: shi jie shi bu gong ping de...)
i know not everything is gonna go my way...coz dat's life (again...it's unfair). since there is nothing i can really do about it, the least i can do is list out what i want...what i really really want (or wish lah).
Nana's Wish List
so yeah...they are usually depressing...or sad...or frustrating...
nothing wrong with that really.
coz the world is a sad sad place sometimes.
other times...it's just UNFAIR (quoting tony: shi jie shi bu gong ping de...)
i know not everything is gonna go my way...coz dat's life (again...it's unfair). since there is nothing i can really do about it, the least i can do is list out what i want...what i really really want (or wish lah).
Nana's Wish List
- that work is work. anything else after working hours or the hours that i'm NOT in school...is not work anymore.period.
- just 1 day. all i need is 1 day to rest and not have to do ANYTHING i don't want to. no obligations...no responsibilities...no worries...
- that i can buy groceries, toiletries, necessities of the best quality...or at least of a good quality as per my subjective view, without having to worry if it's gonna burst my budget for the month. no-frills stuff can be annoyingly bad...and unsatisfying.
- that nobody will hate me...dislike me...be annoyed with me...pissed with me, so that i won't hate, dislike, be annoyed, be pissed, be irritated. it's a vicious cycle.
- that my room can remain sparkling clean and dust-free after nearly 5 hours of tedious cleaning up...at least for 2 weeks???
- that i can bury my phone so i don't have to sms or talk on the phone. if i had the power, i would destroy all phones in the world. why do we have to talk on the phone anyway?
- if only i could channel all my suppressed anger to something good, rather than just vent at people and become easily aggitated...which is what i always do. where is all this anger coming from???
- i don't want to be a hypocrite. i don't like hiding either.
- that my air-con is repaired...so i can feel slightly better about my life.
- i really wish i exist.
Friday, August 18, 2006
2am thoughts...
aiyoh...
i know...i should be sleeping already. there's work tomorrow...then there's a performance at night, albeit a very short one. i look like a wreck...
it's just that i haven't had the easiest time in the past few months. especially since the single. i don't know if it's being paranoid or being hard on myself. it's just that i tell myself i'll do the best i can, which i really try to. somehow, i never think that's enough. i mean, i've been bitched about before. it's nothing really. people just like to bitch about things. so do i. so i thought i can take anything...like ANYTHING!
i guess it's different when i'm being judged inaccurately. someone tells you this...and some others feel something else. so i become really skeptical. how do i know who is speaking from their heart? maybe they say something but mean something else?
bah...it's so silly to think like that. the reason why i'm lamenting now is coz i THOT i am quite thickskinned...and i can take any kind of bulls***. (Keeping a PG rating here...oops...said "bitch" already) but i guess i can still feel sucky when people say mean things and go ALL out to show it.
nah...but dat's not the point of this whole thing.
the whole point is i really don't like being accused of doing things i didn't do. and frankly, i want to say it to the whole world, prove my point and do things my way. BUT that's not the way the world works.
SOOOO...i'll just shut up, nod my head, and just get on with life.
i know...i should be sleeping already. there's work tomorrow...then there's a performance at night, albeit a very short one. i look like a wreck...
it's just that i haven't had the easiest time in the past few months. especially since the single. i don't know if it's being paranoid or being hard on myself. it's just that i tell myself i'll do the best i can, which i really try to. somehow, i never think that's enough. i mean, i've been bitched about before. it's nothing really. people just like to bitch about things. so do i. so i thought i can take anything...like ANYTHING!
i guess it's different when i'm being judged inaccurately. someone tells you this...and some others feel something else. so i become really skeptical. how do i know who is speaking from their heart? maybe they say something but mean something else?
bah...it's so silly to think like that. the reason why i'm lamenting now is coz i THOT i am quite thickskinned...and i can take any kind of bulls***. (Keeping a PG rating here...oops...said "bitch" already) but i guess i can still feel sucky when people say mean things and go ALL out to show it.
nah...but dat's not the point of this whole thing.
the whole point is i really don't like being accused of doing things i didn't do. and frankly, i want to say it to the whole world, prove my point and do things my way. BUT that's not the way the world works.
SOOOO...i'll just shut up, nod my head, and just get on with life.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
aunty sandy's pesto pasta~~~
i haven't been able to get it off my mind...
aunty sandy's seafood pesto spaghetti.
it's been almost 2 weeks and still...my thoughts lingered around it.
and so, with determination and a slightly good culinary memory...i decided to try it for the first time today.
AUNTY SANDY'S RECIPE for SEAFOOD PESTO SPAGHETTI!
nah, i'm not gonna reveal her secret receipe. coz she runs a food business...it's not nice u know. i'm just lucky i was one of the few people who saw her doing the meal...and i can remember when it comes to cooking. heeheehee...
so anyway, i cooked dinner for my family. i'm proud to say...it was a SUCCESS!!!!
my mum especially loved it coz she doesn't like those normal tomata-base sauces. this one suited her perfectly...partly coz i gave her lots of prawns (her fav!).
so yes!!!! i did it!!! yay~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyone wanna try?
aunty sandy's seafood pesto spaghetti.
it's been almost 2 weeks and still...my thoughts lingered around it.
and so, with determination and a slightly good culinary memory...i decided to try it for the first time today.
AUNTY SANDY'S RECIPE for SEAFOOD PESTO SPAGHETTI!
nah, i'm not gonna reveal her secret receipe. coz she runs a food business...it's not nice u know. i'm just lucky i was one of the few people who saw her doing the meal...and i can remember when it comes to cooking. heeheehee...
so anyway, i cooked dinner for my family. i'm proud to say...it was a SUCCESS!!!!
my mum especially loved it coz she doesn't like those normal tomata-base sauces. this one suited her perfectly...partly coz i gave her lots of prawns (her fav!).
so yes!!!! i did it!!! yay~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyone wanna try?
Monday, August 07, 2006
and moving ahead...
ah! sweaty and satisfied right now.
no no no...this post is PG still...i just ate a wonderful, hot meal that i cooked for my family. ahhh...nice chicken stew....yumz....
anyway, i haven't had the time to post any pics up nor write coz it's been a very very very turbulent few days. turbulent in the sense that there has been many changes...some good, some bad...a lot of emotions going up and down like a see saw (partly coz it's the time of the month), work has been piling while i clear while it piles while i clear (u get the picture), plus i've been doing a lot of thinking.
think about my career path, my future, my growth as a person, managing my life and my money...and i suppose, helping others to do the same.
it helps i've had people to talk to about such stuff. it can be so boring and bland to think on your own. of course at the end of the day, the decisions are still mine to make.
i guess it's ok. i'm barely turning 24. i have so many things ahead of me. and i do have a plan. as much as i like to take a day at a time and not really fond of planning further than the day ahead, i do have a plan. a vague plan, a flexible plan, but nevertheless, A PLAN.
so anyway, in case people start asking me again this year, no...i wun be joining superstar. why??? i think i'm pretty satisfied with life thus far. so no lah...=)
back to work tomorrow. i hope everything works out for everybody.
no no no...this post is PG still...i just ate a wonderful, hot meal that i cooked for my family. ahhh...nice chicken stew....yumz....
anyway, i haven't had the time to post any pics up nor write coz it's been a very very very turbulent few days. turbulent in the sense that there has been many changes...some good, some bad...a lot of emotions going up and down like a see saw (partly coz it's the time of the month), work has been piling while i clear while it piles while i clear (u get the picture), plus i've been doing a lot of thinking.
think about my career path, my future, my growth as a person, managing my life and my money...and i suppose, helping others to do the same.
it helps i've had people to talk to about such stuff. it can be so boring and bland to think on your own. of course at the end of the day, the decisions are still mine to make.
i guess it's ok. i'm barely turning 24. i have so many things ahead of me. and i do have a plan. as much as i like to take a day at a time and not really fond of planning further than the day ahead, i do have a plan. a vague plan, a flexible plan, but nevertheless, A PLAN.
so anyway, in case people start asking me again this year, no...i wun be joining superstar. why??? i think i'm pretty satisfied with life thus far. so no lah...=)
back to work tomorrow. i hope everything works out for everybody.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
i promised diya more pics...
so here they go...
"thousand-hands stance"...or rather...juz 10 hands....
opening up...but really uncoordinated yah?
shiyu...really really emoting to diya's song...a bit too much
dis was taken from the backside of tony's car...his rear mirror has this cool screen that shows him whether his car backside is gonna hit anything. here...diya's checking it out...
right after shiyu "the monkey" came up with dis great idea to find the camera!!!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Those Things We Do!
just some more pics as promised to diya...things we do during practices. haha....
tony and shiyu being more serious during prac...coz peter's watching...
tony in his "k-pop" pose!
diya and shiyu trying out their duet...while peter watches 
and when peter isn't watching...
shiyu...trying to look ke lian...
it's a bit hard to be serious when jer's fooling ard...haha
tony in a "donald duck" moment
diya sings while the guys rest...because....
it's more fooling around!!!! (now u c shiyu...)
jeremy and his 2 back up singers
one of his back up singers goes crazy!!! (yes...shiyu again...)
there's more...but i'll upload the rest a bit later...hahaha!
Friday, July 14, 2006
More pics...
i tried uploading some pics a couple of days back on my lousy computer at home.
it's lousy...dat's why there were no pics until now.
just some interesting stuff i took while having dinner with some friends and adidas-store-marathoning..
enjoy!!!
it's lousy...dat's why there were no pics until now.
just some interesting stuff i took while having dinner with some friends and adidas-store-marathoning..
enjoy!!!
dinner at fish and co with the guys tommy, jer and shiyu
and the gals - sylvia, chriz and me
and of coz our dear jaygie...
and now doing a "diya moment"...now u see it...
now u don't!!!
and on our way to adidas at raffles city, diya felt threatened by the look in shiyu's eyes...
the adidas sale has gotten into him!
the guys all decked out in adidas jackets, having fun...while...
the look on diya best represents how left out we felt. sigh...
Sunday, July 09, 2006
my first digital camera!!!
i know...people are gonna laugh at me.
so i'm a bit slow on the technology front. i kinda felt i didn't need a digital cam since everyone had one and it's so easy to send photos. also, my phone had a camera...so i don't need it right? besides...a good digital cam is sooooo ex.
BUT I GOT ONE!!!!!
i asked my sis to get for me in japan cause she said it was cheaper there. the other time, she said the cam i wanted was out of stock. this time, she saw it again!!! so she asked. and i answered...yes....
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's a lumix 9 anyway. together with the 512 mb card, it's only $450!!! that's a good deal i think. now i can take clearer, nicer, non-blurry photos and videos using my camera!!! i'm so happy i've been bringing it everywhere i go...somewhat like diya. hahaha...and i've been whipping it out at every chance there is available! so pls tolerate while i publish some of my works. wooahahahaha...
so i'm a bit slow on the technology front. i kinda felt i didn't need a digital cam since everyone had one and it's so easy to send photos. also, my phone had a camera...so i don't need it right? besides...a good digital cam is sooooo ex.
BUT I GOT ONE!!!!!
i asked my sis to get for me in japan cause she said it was cheaper there. the other time, she said the cam i wanted was out of stock. this time, she saw it again!!! so she asked. and i answered...yes....
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's a lumix 9 anyway. together with the 512 mb card, it's only $450!!! that's a good deal i think. now i can take clearer, nicer, non-blurry photos and videos using my camera!!! i'm so happy i've been bringing it everywhere i go...somewhat like diya. hahaha...and i've been whipping it out at every chance there is available! so pls tolerate while i publish some of my works. wooahahahaha...
that's me taking myself outside MC.
that's me and tommy...juz coz we had similar tops...
that's a whole bunch of us pre-zouk, celebrating jer's bdae (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!)
the 2 "xiao bai"s turning into "xiao hong"s (haha)
that's all for now. i have a few more embarrassing shots...but let's just keep them till i need to blackmail people. hehehe...
Thursday, July 06, 2006
93.3 Interview
so yesterday was another small milestone. tony and i went with anthony lao shi to yes 93.3 for a short interview. it was at jiahui's xian ge ji yi show at 9pm. we were sort of early, so we sat in there and talked a bit.
well, mostly fang lao shi talked. tony and i just listened. hee...
it's my 2nd time at the 93.3 studio. the first time was for lan ren guan. went there to sing the last time. still, it was pretty exciting coz it was prime time. so that was a bit different. it's tony's first time, so i think he was excited but a bit nervous too. hahaha...we were like trying to figure out what to say on the way there. in the end, we also din say much. wahahahahaaa...
so anyway, we just intro-ed ourselves and rattled out the dates of our remaining roadshows and the party on 22 july. and while in the studio, i had a couple of msgs that were vibrating (coz my fone was silenced). hehehe...
so that was it! tada...
well, mostly fang lao shi talked. tony and i just listened. hee...
it's my 2nd time at the 93.3 studio. the first time was for lan ren guan. went there to sing the last time. still, it was pretty exciting coz it was prime time. so that was a bit different. it's tony's first time, so i think he was excited but a bit nervous too. hahaha...we were like trying to figure out what to say on the way there. in the end, we also din say much. wahahahahaaa...
so anyway, we just intro-ed ourselves and rattled out the dates of our remaining roadshows and the party on 22 july. and while in the studio, i had a couple of msgs that were vibrating (coz my fone was silenced). hehehe...
so that was it! tada...
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Pressure to upkeep...
i have pressure to keep my blog alive now.
coz the smart aleck and attention-seeker in me has started to tell the whole world my blog. well, not actually the whole world...just a small group of people whom i think will eventually spread to more or less the whole world.
so yes...whole world...hear me roar!!!
anyway, the 6 of us met up today to think about what songs we are doing for the tiong bahru show. we'll be changing some here and there, so it's more interesting. and we have more fun games. heehee...can't say too much or else i'll give it all away.
after that, we all went carl's jr for dinner. first time all 6 of us are having a meal outside of school. wahahaha...considering we've been practicing for months now. time really flies. soon, our little sichun (wahahahahahah...bleah~~~!) will be going off to NS. everybody say "awww......"
awww.........
in anycase, we'll still do our best with him in our hearts and spirits!
dat...came out weird...
okie...i had a boring day...tomorrow must edit music and try to remember lyrics again...OH MY GOD!!!!
coz the smart aleck and attention-seeker in me has started to tell the whole world my blog. well, not actually the whole world...just a small group of people whom i think will eventually spread to more or less the whole world.
so yes...whole world...hear me roar!!!
anyway, the 6 of us met up today to think about what songs we are doing for the tiong bahru show. we'll be changing some here and there, so it's more interesting. and we have more fun games. heehee...can't say too much or else i'll give it all away.
after that, we all went carl's jr for dinner. first time all 6 of us are having a meal outside of school. wahahaha...considering we've been practicing for months now. time really flies. soon, our little sichun (wahahahahahah...bleah~~~!) will be going off to NS. everybody say "awww......"
awww.........
in anycase, we'll still do our best with him in our hearts and spirits!
dat...came out weird...
okie...i had a boring day...tomorrow must edit music and try to remember lyrics again...OH MY GOD!!!!
Monday, June 26, 2006
Roadshow 1: WhiteSands
Our first roadshow is over!!!!
Everything started on time. The sound system was ok, but no feedback monitor so couldn't really hear ourselves. Much better than our launch at least.
More or less, everything went according to plan. Quite glad to see people watching us. More happy to see familiar faces like family and friends. Always have a group of very loyal and fantastic supporters who scream and cheer and clap for us. It makes all the work and all the lousy stuff really worth it! Thanks guys!!! I really really appreciate it!!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
I really must do better for the next show. Maybe change some songs, a bit more upbeat and high. I hope we do better each time. My mum already thinks we are improving from show to show. That's good. I still think we can be much better of course.
Anyway, a bunch of us had dinner at marina south...zhen fa huo hai xian. dat's serene's family business so i managed to call her and ask her to help us reserve a table. i saw her dog lucky too!!! today is such a doggie day. saw little jack jack at MC too!!!! he's still so cute and so afraid of people!!!! i wish i could get a doggie too. too bad my sis is scared of animals. having one beckham at home is already quite a chore. he's a rabbit by the way. my xin gan bao bei.
Anyway, the next one is at TIONG BAHRU on 2nd July Sunday 3pm. I hope there will be more people, bigger crowd and more fun games and better performance!
I'm quite psyched!!!
Everything started on time. The sound system was ok, but no feedback monitor so couldn't really hear ourselves. Much better than our launch at least.
More or less, everything went according to plan. Quite glad to see people watching us. More happy to see familiar faces like family and friends. Always have a group of very loyal and fantastic supporters who scream and cheer and clap for us. It makes all the work and all the lousy stuff really worth it! Thanks guys!!! I really really appreciate it!!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
I really must do better for the next show. Maybe change some songs, a bit more upbeat and high. I hope we do better each time. My mum already thinks we are improving from show to show. That's good. I still think we can be much better of course.
Anyway, a bunch of us had dinner at marina south...zhen fa huo hai xian. dat's serene's family business so i managed to call her and ask her to help us reserve a table. i saw her dog lucky too!!! today is such a doggie day. saw little jack jack at MC too!!!! he's still so cute and so afraid of people!!!! i wish i could get a doggie too. too bad my sis is scared of animals. having one beckham at home is already quite a chore. he's a rabbit by the way. my xin gan bao bei.
Anyway, the next one is at TIONG BAHRU on 2nd July Sunday 3pm. I hope there will be more people, bigger crowd and more fun games and better performance!
I'm quite psyched!!!
Monday, June 12, 2006
i have finally fallen sick...
it has been a hellish week.
the computer at the office crashed. so all my songs that i've editted are stuck in there. fortunately, i have already burned some of the songs out. plus the fact that we SORT of had a preview for the 3rd anniversary...it was pure hell for me.
i started heating up the day before, on saturday. when i was told that the computer crashed, i think that's about when i started crashing too. so yesterday night, i was burning out. took some meds, was sponged down and iced down.
i'm slightly better now. was still nursing a headache this afternoon, but i took some meds and totally concussed. using my dad's laptop to edit music now. at least, not all is lost!
a bit worried about the anniversary. it's this sunday and SOOOO much is yet to be done. we haven't had a full rehearsal yet. still people missing from rehearsals. a lot of administrative and logistical work to be done. BAHHH...
i hope i get well soon...the sooner the better.
note to self: must get rid of wisdom tooth soon! the pain is damn annoying!!!
the computer at the office crashed. so all my songs that i've editted are stuck in there. fortunately, i have already burned some of the songs out. plus the fact that we SORT of had a preview for the 3rd anniversary...it was pure hell for me.
i started heating up the day before, on saturday. when i was told that the computer crashed, i think that's about when i started crashing too. so yesterday night, i was burning out. took some meds, was sponged down and iced down.
i'm slightly better now. was still nursing a headache this afternoon, but i took some meds and totally concussed. using my dad's laptop to edit music now. at least, not all is lost!
a bit worried about the anniversary. it's this sunday and SOOOO much is yet to be done. we haven't had a full rehearsal yet. still people missing from rehearsals. a lot of administrative and logistical work to be done. BAHHH...
i hope i get well soon...the sooner the better.
note to self: must get rid of wisdom tooth soon! the pain is damn annoying!!!
Saturday, June 10, 2006
A FIRST For Everything!
This is such an eventful day.
It's the opening day of the 2006 World Cup in Geermany (OK, because of different timezones, I'm technically still correct.) So I'm watching Germany VS Costa Rica. It's 2-1 at half-time. We'll see how that match goes.
It's also my first entry in here.
I've actually blogged before...but I've decided to start a brand new blog to mark a whole new chapter of my life. Or at least, I hope it would be a whole new chapter of my life.
In about a week's time, we would be launching our new Single. Six of us, signed under Music Clinic Records, have been chosen to sing a brand new song to be launched as a Single. Shiyu, Sichun, Tony, Diya, Jeremy and ME! It will be given away...FREE!!! The song is called Wo Men De Tian Kong (directly translated as Our Sky).
It's been a tiring few months. From the auditions, to the trainings, the practices, the shows, the photoshoots, recordings and re-recordings...I can't believe it's gonna be out soon. We've spent such long hours, late nights after late nights. It's a pity I didn't think about creating a new blog before...or else all my ramblings would have been heard. hahaha...
Anyway, I hope it'll be well-received. We'll have roadshows to go to. I'll post more details soon!!!
Back to the 2nd half of Germany VS Costa Rica!!!
It's the opening day of the 2006 World Cup in Geermany (OK, because of different timezones, I'm technically still correct.) So I'm watching Germany VS Costa Rica. It's 2-1 at half-time. We'll see how that match goes.
It's also my first entry in here.
I've actually blogged before...but I've decided to start a brand new blog to mark a whole new chapter of my life. Or at least, I hope it would be a whole new chapter of my life.
In about a week's time, we would be launching our new Single. Six of us, signed under Music Clinic Records, have been chosen to sing a brand new song to be launched as a Single. Shiyu, Sichun, Tony, Diya, Jeremy and ME! It will be given away...FREE!!! The song is called Wo Men De Tian Kong (directly translated as Our Sky).
It's been a tiring few months. From the auditions, to the trainings, the practices, the shows, the photoshoots, recordings and re-recordings...I can't believe it's gonna be out soon. We've spent such long hours, late nights after late nights. It's a pity I didn't think about creating a new blog before...or else all my ramblings would have been heard. hahaha...
Anyway, I hope it'll be well-received. We'll have roadshows to go to. I'll post more details soon!!!
Back to the 2nd half of Germany VS Costa Rica!!!
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