HAI....YAH!!

I start off this post with a sigh...(sighs...)

Why? I don't really know why. Well, maybe I do but it's not a single thing...it's an accumulation of things. Circumstances, personalities, emotions, etc etc etc...

The first thing on my mind would be me and jealousy. I used to think I don't get jealous easily. That I can tolerate a lot of things. Well, I kinda doubt it now. I think I am pretty jealous-prone. Maybe it's circumstances. Maybe it's personality (mine or the other half's). Maybe I just need to feel a bit more special than others.

There are acquaintances.

Then there are friends.

And close friends, maybe best friend.

Then lovers/boyfriend-girlfriends.

Then life partners (whether married or not)/soul mates.

I'm just gonna take family out of this because blood is thicker than water, so it's different.

Wait! Where does "fans" come under? Will they go from being acquaintances, to friends...or even close friends? Then what is the status quo? I know some supporters OR "fans" who eventually become friends, and even close friends. Nothing against them at all because without these people, a lot of things do not happen.

But just a question. You do have to draw a line between students and teachers. Yeah sure, you can be friends, but there is always a line you do not over-step. That's respect. And it's different from just chatting with a college old buddy because there are roles of authority. What about "fans" and "idols"? Do you draw a line? How much do they know about your life, or how much do you tell them?

I am really, really confused here. It seems there are no clear-cut answers. I see different things happening to different people. Some relationships get really bizarre. I don't know which part of these relationships are screwed up enough to make them so bizarre. Is it the environment? Or the people? Or the person.

By the way, I don't have an agenda here... but I somehow figured out today that 2nd chances are hard to come by. So, if 2nd chances are not cherished, I will not be humiliated for my lousy judgement or beat myself up over sheer stupidity.

I will not tolerate another time if 2nd chances that I give are taken for granted again.

Yes. That's it.

Know what I really hate? I hate I can't be straight to the point in my own blog. Yes, I admit that I am an exhibitionist. That's why I blog. So people can read my thoughts. If I didn't want people to know my thoughts, I would write in a proper diary. So here's the dilemma or irony...

The Exhibitionist is unable or incapable of exhibiting her life.