playing with fire

there are things which you know you shouldn't do, but you'll do it anyway.

then, there are things you know you should probably do, but you don't wanna do...for now.

well, isn't life just interesting? filled with dilemmas and decisions. moral, ethics and the whole works. opportunities, choices and regrets.

yeah....so interesting.

WOO! rooney just scored!!!

"rooney! rooney! rooney! rooney!"

sorry, got distracted by the match and my stupid dog barking.

shaddup louis!

anyway, yeah...the sms table-tennis yesterday was somewhat unexpected. not sure if it should have happened or not. anyway, it's done. i'm not a very nostalgic person anyway. not gonna look back and give the "should've-shouldn't have" crap. take a thing at a time.

by the way, i'm really sorry if this makes no sense. it's not meant to lah, for the larger audience. just let me reassure you that there is no serious problems i'm facing. hahaha...it's just those moral conscience thing. i can't put a finger to it.

need to take a long hard look at everything and decide properly what is the best thing to do. work is not getting any lighter. obligations and responsibilties are getting heavier. may need to take one step back and drop some stuff to focus more on myself. although i'm not a forward-thinker, it doesn't hurt to think through it a bit.

hmm...

go check my bank balance.

hahahaaa....

poignant statements

"oh...not another one of them...argh..."

"always make your boss look good." - if i may add, doesn't hurt to make your boss feel good too.

"nothing a drink can't help."

"materialistic people are easy to motivate."

"anything can happen! how would we know that liverpool will score an own goal right before the end?"

"which bag shall i get?"

"lim jiu mai?"

"bonus."

"money is always good; more money would be better."

"you're quite overloaded huh? don't worry...i know."

"drink tonight?"

"i've got no time to be sick!"

"if you wanna buy a bag, you might as well spend a bit more and buy a really good one!" - ok!

"i need a getaway."

i'm staying home today. even if it's a saturday. and i'm gonna be happy doing that.

i think there are 2 main thrusts to why i'm not going out on a sat (night or not).

1. my mum isn't too happy about me staying late out everyday. it's the dog...he's becoming quite a terror at home. i suppose i need to be more responsible about it. crap.

2. had an early start to the weekend. took fri off...but i went out and organised a chill-out session last night for my colleagues. it was alright...but ah...hopefully the next time i organise another one, it would be...better.

a couple of things made me rather delighted...so i'm quite satisfied taking the saturday off to recover and internalize everything.

i wanna go shopping leh.

haha...

wanna buy cosmetics and clothes...and more shoes. heeheehee...

want to go holiday too. i'm trying to figure if i should go japan AND bangkok all at once in oct/nov or separate the trips. that will be determined by my schedule. i'm still wondering how it will pan out. as off now...it seems like i have a 1-week window in mid oct, before kt and jw's wedding (where i have to sing and be jie-mei) and i still have that birthday party that i wanna do.

location, location, location.

where should i have my party? i want it to be exclusive! maybe a hotel suite...but must find not too expensive one. can hold up to...30 pax? hahaha...maybe more?? dun even know if i have so many friends in the first place.

i think i wun do the "back to school" theme...but i need to THINK what my theme is gonna be! maybe "go green"??? that's my fav colour anyway. i dunno..must think. and oh yes...invite list, booze, food, games, music, and if i'm feeling generous, maybe a goodie or two...biangz.

sponsors anyone? hahaha...i can offer a spot on my blog for a month...2 months...10?

right. let's see who will take THAT up.

ok. i need to go causeway point to shop/do grocery shopping and be a guai guai nu. he he he...

i need a 李圣杰

擦肩而过

我爱着谁 爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对

你不会累 但我却爱你爱到好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安慰付出一切

站在这平衡点 我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见 只能够靠感觉

他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过

你听我说 你不要这么做
你不要看着我
说你已经知道怎么做
你很难受 我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛 再多坎坷我都陪你走

就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候我的温柔陪你度过

Congrats to Derrick for, once again, creating a hit that we can all emo to!

let me go on.

actually, i don't feel like elaborating more about the earlier post.

ok loh. then i won't.













but i'm not so boliao to just say that as a follow-up to the last post. so i'll just say...

it was a rough day today.

i think today is just one of those days.

i wish i wasn't alone. and by alone, i dun mean alone at home (coz i'm not alone at home).

it's not the solitude. it's the emptiness solitude brings.

you can be surrounded by a million people and still feel alone. loneliness is not a state of being, it's a state of mind, or i prefer to say it as a state of heart. irrationality takes over. all you wanna do is be with somebody and not give a care in this world.

the pain of something happening is sometimes lesser than the pain of nothing happening.

i'm so caught up in my own emotions because i don't let anyone in.

i don't think anyone knows the true story. in fact, i doubt i know it. is it the mystic of not knowing? or just escapism from knowing? i dun really know what drives this thought process that haunts me.

which makes drowning the sorrows a slightly calculated move. it doesn't mean literally drinking your sorrows away. it just numbs your head and your heart, and remove the walls...the dams...the fort that is protecting yourself. or not.

doesn't matter.

the truth of the matter is, i hang on too much. i hang on to certain little actions, certain little tugs at the heartstrings, certain little words. i don't wanna over-react, but at the same time, i can't help myself from reacting...or acting. and i don't wanna play this entire game of second guessing, either myself or others, again. it's too tiring.

i...don't...know...if anyone can comprehend this.

like i said, it's one of those days.


nana wants to go out and play...party like a rock star...trashed to bits.

wah lao...

damn sian.

=(

squeeeezed

i really have no time.

so if i take forever to reply an sms, it's because i haven't had the chance to read it or no time to reply it.

and if i sound funny and impatient and fierce on the fone, chances are, i'm working or i'm with my boss...still working...even at 9...10...11pm.

and if i can't come out...it's probably cause i am STILL working...or i've had a loooong, rough day...so i really can't meet...or i have no strength to.

actually, it's not all bad.

i feel very focused now. like i know what needs to be done, even though half the time i'm still finding my way. but yah...i do feel more settled.

but it's really really stressful. i'm not getting enough sleep. adrenaline is all that's keeping me up. much like wat da big boss says,"since you're in the cheonging mood already...". yah...i am.

i even stopped drinking for close to 2 weeks. haha...but i think i'll need one REAL soon. maybe tonight? after i finish doing some work.

i just squeezed two minutes of my time to type this. and it's back to work.

anyway, if u see me at holland V, i'm probably working or JUST finished working on something.

i like to do my work at holland v. it's quiet. the people are generally nice(r). there's always space. i can stay here to work till late. and the coffee bean staff knows me. haha...yes, i've been here too often.

ok la. back to work!