i always loved travelling, and i don't just mean going overseas.
even sitting on a bus or mrt, taking a long ride to work or home. it can be really therapeutic and is really a good time to think about stuff and see the world pass you by. i remember all the times when i got really upset over different things and just taking a random bus or mrt or both to dunno where. no destination. no plans and itinerary. just let the damn vehicle move till i wanna get off.
so anyway, these couple of days have been pretty sureal. i keep having really random thoughts while taking the train. i've done lots of thinking on trains before, but these couple of days have been slightly different because...it just feels different. so different that i started writing them down in this little notebook i always carry in my bag.
but noooooooooooooo.........i'm not gonna say everything in here.
too personal.
but i'll reveal this much. a lot of it has been my future. work, family, money and what my life will be in 5 or 10 years' time...or even 25 years. i'm hitting the quarter-of-a-century later this year and that's a little intimidating. i kinda remember thinking when i was younger, what expectations i had for myself when i reach 25, and i doubt i've done half of it. somehow, whatever i have done or achieved or been through, they just don't add up to those expectations.
there isn't anyone or anything to blame for. it's just a milestone in my life and i wish i did more or fulfilled more. but that's life...it's so dynamic and ever-changing, you can't wish for everything to come out perfectly as you planned to or wish for.
so anyway, on the way home today, i realised that lists are reeeeeally useful. i did a little list a few months back and most of it came true!!! so i decided to get a hold of myself and give myself a break. don't be negative or think negatively.
i decided...
i'm gonna give myself a nice present every birthday from this coming year onwards!
this year...my 25th birthday...i shall treat myself to a nice trip to JAPAN!
next year...i shall go switzerland during winter and visit my cousins and aunt and uncle there, for the FIFTH time!
and the year after...i shall buy myself a BIG SOLITAIRE DIAMOND RING!!! (or the biggest i can afford...hahahaha...)
okie...so far that's all i thought of. i think i shouldn't plan too many years ahead. god knows what my life will turn out to be!
3 comments:
hahah! oh man! i support that! dearie what u said in this entry is just so true. we are htting the age where we thought life would be good at, only to realise we havent really gotten where our dreams were or feel filled. sometimes i feel empty. like u, i also love travelling, especially on buses, watching sunsets. i'm glad u are going to pamper urself my dear! u deserve it babe! :) hugs
Small kuku (switzerland): Hey I fully agreed on your coming over to visit us and I take your words for it. As for the diamond solitare ring - who knows you might just get one VERY VERY BIG ONE from an admirer???? No depressing thoughts. Look on the sunny side of life. I have to be more depress than you. Away from the whole lot of you. Don't mind we will all try to be back again in July 2008. So look out for us.
way to go babe. we all be hitting the quarter mark of our lives... and yes, we are still on the jourbey to fight for our dreams, its sucks, since some people can win like 10million in TOTO. haha. even if there are shitty days i wake up not knowing if the path i choose is right, but i know my heart will not fail me. Enjoy your trip to Japan, you deserve it 100%!! must eat all the red bean kueis they have there.... japan is a red bean paradise!
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