desperado...(this is gonna be a long one)

it's one of my favourite songs.

brought me my first singing competition win with dear steffie.

suddenly took it out to sing some days ago...and it brought back memories and thoughts.

incidentally heard it being played in MOS burger today.

and the song has been running in my head.

it seems like a sign.

so i thought i'll share it.


Desperado

Desperado,
Why don't you come to your senses,
You've been out ridin fences for so long now,
Oh and you're a hard one,
But I know that you've got your reasons,
The things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow.

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds boy,
She'll beat you if she's able.
You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet.
Now it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table,
But you only want the ones you can't get.

Desperado,
You ain't gettin no younger,
Your pain and your hunger,
They're drivin you home,
And freedom, oh freedom,
Well that's just some people talkin.
Your prison is walking through
This world all alone.

Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime,
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine,
It's hard to tell the nighttime from the day.
And you're losin all your highs and lows,
Ain't it funny how the feelin goes away?

Desperado,
Why don't you come to your senses,
Come down from your fences- open the gates.
It may be rainin,
But there's a rainbow above you.
You'd better let somebody love you,
LET SOMEBODY LOVE YOU.

You'd better let somebody love you,
Before it's too late...



so anyway, i guess ever since saturday, most people know what is gonna happen around MC already. we've been giving all students a letter/notice. finally, the official notice is out (after many alterations). i know i shouldn't be saying this but gosh, it's really been soooo long. a lot of reasons why and one of them is that there were too many things to settle...and really, there's only me and tommy to do the work.

my job may seem or look simple or slacky...but it's really not. anyone who has really worked in MC will know. besides teaching, i have to do the the smallest things like reading/checking emails, empty the garbage, follow up with all the sponsorships, do a breakdown of costs and benefits, cut/edit music, do up ads (change and change until everyone is happy, and the size and colour and fonts are perfect for printing), liaise with the ad sales people and editors, type notices, letters, agreements, issue payment vouchers, invoices, quotations, make sure the bosses go for the events, change their schedules or classes in 2 hours notice (sometimes even less), deal with suppliers, vendors, tally sales figures, tally the money, do the petty cash reimbursements, sometimes help tommy (who does a whole lot) to call students or answer the fone calls or settle their fees, get new students to sign up, clean the TOILET, move keyboards up and down, play jigsaw puzzle with the schedule board, handle performance schedules and repertoire, have people calling me or messaging me on my day off about school or work, and still need time to talk to students (even though i really apologize with u if i can't talk or i seem preoccupied). i hardly have a life to to anything else, unless it's late at night loh...and waste money taking cab back (omg! the midnight surcharge can kill!).

i'm not complaining lah...it's quite shiok to list out all the things i do though. hahaha...like writing resume, "Work Experience"! hahaha...it's really been a very fruitful nearly 2 years at MC working...3+ years being around MC...from student, to choir member, to instructor and to full-time staff.

back to the job. i wun say i've done a very good job or been great at everything, coz i haven't been. i've been humbled though. been told that i dun have EQ, have a bad attitude, have heard people bitch about me either directly or indirectly, been lied to, told off, scolded, blamed, cried, walked off, apologized, swallowed my pride, felt useless, sad, betrayed, angry, disappointed...amongst many other emotions (good ones of coz, but nobody wans to see or hear the good stuff).

well, i still dun think i have a lot of EQ or wonderful personality, and i doubt the whole world loves me, but it's ok. i've always been lucky to have a bunch of people who always stood by me no matter wat. people in or out of MC. some people come...some people go...but i've always felt that i should cherish what i have coz we never know what can happen. it's a rational thought. i've kinda been trained to not see everything in black and white, or to hold on to things that u should let go of.

well, i'm still NOT sad. i think in time, i'll see things in retrospect and realise even more so, how fortunate i am to have had the opportunities that i had.

and i feel really comforted and happy when people tell me how much they appreciate what i've done or encourage me or have just stuck by me all these time...even though the ratio of that to those who can't give a half-*ahem* about me is probably 1:50. haha...

so yeah...i guess i'm done for now.

:)

(i hope i dun regret writing this post.)