Target practice...BANG!

Haven't had time to fully utilise my laptop because i'm either home late and too tired, or my sister is hogging the cable line. yes...i know about wireless routers, but mine is spoilt and i can't afford to buy a new router for the time being. so, there...have to wait my turn.

and my turn is a monday afternoon. a day where i have absolute rest (or not) and i get to use the cable line!

ANYWAY, good stuff first. i got a new phone!!! finally!!! away with the fone that takes 6 minutes to send a message! in comes my NEW phone - Nokia 7390!!!

i got the bronze and black colour instead of the pink and white, coz it's sleeker and chic-er. i kinda like it, but it's been only a week, so we'll see how it goes in a month's time. haha...rem, my old fone? i was raving about it too...and then in 1 month, i saw it's true colours...hrmph!

i've been doing some calculations this week. even though i'm gonna have a long break, i doubt i'll be able to go out much coz i WOULD be seriously broke. i still have a ton of debts and bills to pay off before chinese new year. it's said that u can't owe people money over the new year, so i HAVE to pay everyone back. that's taking up half of my monthly salary. plus giving my parents jia yong and the bills and insurance and buying new year clothes and transportation and food...i'll be left with enough to spend 10 days at home and rot.

looks like no holiday this time round. last year for the CNY break, we went bangkok, the whole company. this year, i doubt i can even afford the airfare. bah...at least i can be comforted by the thought of ang baos...

sobz...

ANYWAY, sob stories aside, i just read an email from a good friend of mine. his heart got broken recently because he was sort of two-timed. past the feeling of betrayal, he decided to forgive and is giving that person a 2nd chance. he told me it's been hard coz he still see horrible images in his head now and then, but he has to try to ke fu it. and he doesn't know if this time, it'll work out, but that's all he is going to do. if that person doesn't cherish it, it's bye for good.

so i replied to him that there is no explanations for these kinda things, like relationship stuff. we can just hope that people dun repeat their mistakes. i've heard tons of things like "oh..a leopard never changes it's spots" and stuff. i don't know whether that is really it. can i change who i am? change is relative really. sometimes you don't think it affects anyone but it does. sometimes you think that's just you and you can't change but you can. sometimes you think you've changed but others don't think you have. so there is really no end to it.

i'm sure we all want to be a better person. if i know something i did has hurt someone, i'll try not to do it again. but then again, that's me. some people, perhaps, never think that way. especially guys i realised. (ok...i'm marginalizing again) do all guys think that they hurt someone ONLY when something has actually happened?

EXAMPLE: FLIRTING

Guys: It's ok to flirt with other girls. it's just talking and messaging and going out for meals. it's not as if we are doing anything.

BUT you are doing something. The initiation, the follow-up...they are all something. what consitutues "anything" anyway?

ok...before i get real carried away...coz i tend to do so, i'll just stop. you never know who's reading and coming up with wild conclusions again. haha...but just a teaser:

I've got a new TARGET.

And I've got my eyes on you...