Of Differences and Frivolousness

for starters, i'm not feeling too good. a mixture of cramps, stomachache, diarrhoea, nausea, headache and...i just bumped by head. bleah!

i'm gonna write about this chat i had with a friend. since my circle of friends is pretty small, i'm gonna make her anonymous lah, for safety and privacy reasons.

anyway, we were chatting about guys (what else can 2 girls chat about?) and she was talking to me about her neither-here-nor-there-guy. somehow, they know the passwords to each other's friendster and they read each other's handphone messages too. so she found out he's been adding a whole lot of girls into his friendster and asking girls to msn him and such. obviously, she isn't too happy about it. she's not lacking in suitors and many guys have asked to be added as her friends, but she's like me lah. she just keeps those guys in the inbox for ego sake and don't reply them.

i realised that guys are...just like that. it's not enough to fill your own ego. you have to let the whole world know you have the abilities to sweep girls off their feet. that's the difference between men and women.
another difference, also came up during the conversation, was that they have a totally diferent perspective towards words. like things they say or write. for example, she got totally pissed off when he told another girl that he miss her too. apparently, for guys, they can say the same thing to different people because the words are the same, but the feeling and emotions attached to it is different.

so what do we girls call this? we call it "leading them/us on".

i mean, it's the Age of the Internet. people don't talk face to face anymore. it's all msn, private messages and sms. so let's just put talking face-to-face aside and look at the connotations of words in general.

"i miss u (too)..."

what does this mean? if you say it to your family? if you say it to your bf/gf? if you say it to a friend of the same sex? if you say it to a friend of the opposite sex? to a platonic friend? to someone you know who likes you? to someone you admire? to someone whom you know looks up to you?

let's look at it this way. there are 2 issues here:

1. whomever you say/write/msg the words to, there are always gonna be two or more ways to looking at it. it's not like you'll explain what the words mean in your point of view like..."i miss u too...but not that kinda miss...more like i miss talking to a friend like you or not seeing a good friend like you." nope...you'' just say "i miss u too" and assume people get it.

2. well, people don't get it. because words are words. they don't come with emotions. and everyone views each other differently or have different ideas about people. especially if they THINK they know you simply cause they have your friendster, or msn, or email, or mobile number.so you may be saying the words is as platonic as you probably can get, but guess what when it becomes to someone who yearns to hear something like that. "OH!!! he misses me too! he must like me!"

BOOOOOOOOONK!!!

anyway, that's what i was trying to tell her. that men and women are just different. to them, it's all about the ego. who care's what i say as long as i don't mean it. to us, it's about responsibility of our actions. if you can say the same thing to so many people, then how much of it is true when you say it to me?

but i can understand how she feels. and i also understand the guy's point of view. understanding it doesn't mean we agree...but what to do? it's just different. we have to deal with it, learn to manage the differences and hope for the best.

there is just ONE more thing that i have to get it off my chest though.

i don't understand how some girls can be just as frivolous as guys. how do you make yourself say/write/msg things like "i miss u" or "hope u'll miss me too" or "dun miss me" or "i know u'll miss me!" or "love u" (in various other forms and similar syntax) to guys who are:1. not family.2. not boyfriend(s).3. not a childhood friend whom you've grown up with.

i dunno if i'm being conservative about it, because i don't say such things to anyone close. even my gal pals and closest platonic guy friends. i don't tell them i miss them. i dun msg them such stuff, either on msn or friendster or sms. coz i think words can get so misleading and give people so many wrong ideas. why take the chance to cause a misunderstanding?

so i really don't get how girls can just throw themselves at guys and hope by some chance:

1. if he doesn't have a gf, he might just...-giggle-...fall for you???

2. if he does have a gf, he'll dump her and might just...(again)...fall for you???

3. even if he has or doesn't have a gf, he might just...(drum roll pls)...fall for you???

WOMAN! have some dignity and integrity!

it's really bad karma lor. i dunno how many people believe in karma, but i really do. so it's because of this karma business that i haven't gone up to people like that, scream at them (like "you f***ing biatch! stop being a slutty cow and go find some grass to chew on!") and then, in tommy's words, BA ni liang ba ah!

it's a tempting thought though. haha...