my MJ story

i do realise that it may seem odd that i only mention this nearly 2 weeks after his passing, but i had not wanted to be part of the bandwagon.

i stayed up last night to watch the memorial. i cried my eyes out, so i had a pair of puffy eyes this morning. (and the worse part is, i had to do a routine medical check-up with them puffy eyes) watched it two times more this afternoon, and got absolutely choked up both times. it's heart-wrenching, heart-breaking.

so i decided to do my own little tribute to the man, who had been and will always be an inspiration and my hero...by telling my MJ story. it doesn't matter if nobody ever reads this, but i just wanted to write it down so i will never forget this great human being.

my MJ story:

i can't remember when it was that i first heard MJ or knew who he was. my guess...it was probably my dad whom i probably inherited the love for music from. he used to blast songs (pop and rock songs, mind you) through the radio in his car, and jerked the car according to the beats. i guess that's why my sisters and i were always quite in-tuned to music (and could feel the beats).

i don't remember which came first, but i know i had MJ's 'Dangerous' LD, which my dad bought. i would watch the LD over and over again. it had all the music videos of the songs in his albums, and even the "making" of the videos. i was mesmerised. i also had his moonwalk video tape. i think that belonged to my aunt, and i would sneak a peek or watch it whenever she wasn't at home (i wan't allowed to touch the tapes). that was probably my first touchpoint with MJ. and like the rest of the world, i was mesmerised...absolutely hooked onto MJ.

so when i heard he was coming to singapore for a concert, i begged my parents to let me go. we weren't that well-to-do, but my mum got me 1 ticket...the cheapest at $60...to watch with her friend. yeap, her friend would be my nanny for the concert. i was ecstatic! i couldn't believe my eyes, my ears...woah...i was gonna see michael jackson! my parents got me all ready for the concert...they found me binoculars, and i chose the clothes that i was gonna wear to his concert. it was a mickey mouse pants and a top that my mum got in japan. i thought, this is it...i'm gonna wear my best, brightest clothes to see my idol, my hero!

i was a few months short of my 11th birthday.

and then, about a week before the concert, i got chicken pox.

i think i felt an aching pain in my heart when the doctor told me that it was indeed chicken pox. i couldn't believe it...i didn't have a fever, and the little spots didn't feel itchy at all. it couldn't be chicken pox. and i had a concert to go to!!!

but the doctor and my granny and parents knew. i insisted on going. i told them the spots weren't itchy, and i didn't feel unwell. and soon, it would go away. i told them that i'll be careful and i would wear a long sleeved T-shirt and long pants and wrap myself up so i didn't spread the pox. my parents did not relent (my mum's a nurse la...cannot bluff).

i was devastated.

my one and only chance to see MJ in person. i had everything prepared. but i couldn't be there.

i must have bawled a lot that few days. and when he was in singapore, all i could do was read about him in the papers, watch him on tv, and wished that the stupid chicken pox didn't come so soon. i think i must have been the most angst-filled 11-year old that few days.

when i finally recovered from chicken pox, MJ had left singapore.

as a consolation, my dad bought me to the pasar malam downstairs. at one of the stalls, i saw an MJ video tape. it was MJ's concert in bucharest. it was $20. i held on to it so tightly...and my dad must have seen the look on my face, coz he bought it for me. we went home and watched the tape. i think i watched that same tape a few more times just that week.

even when we moved to bishan, i brought that tape with me. it was in my "safe" (a part of my study table with a lock) for a very long time. eventually, i had to throw the tape away as it had gone all mouldy...but i did it with much reluctance.

and so...that's my MJ story.

we'll miss you.