Let's just pretend

Let's just pretend for a moment that nobody reads this.

Maybe there isn't a need to pretend coz nobody does anyway.

BUT, just for the sake of argument, let's...just pretend.

i'm hungry...i had only 1 ham and cheese sandwich all day and a coffee, and a couple pieces of potato chips.

my heel broke. 1 heel broke. the other heel is indestructible. so i look like i'm limping.

i don't wanna do copious amounts of papers. but they are gonna make me do copious amounts of papers. whyyyyy????????????

i don't like papers. now i have to specialize in writing papers. damn.

blardy neverending story.

it's not the writing that is half as annoying. it's the endless number of people and levels you have to clear before you finally get it cleared. and by the time that happens, you are probably late, screwed, or working on an extension of that paper.

this is why it never ends.

and the laptop shall be my new best friend.

i somehow feel as if my energy is completely sapped out of me.

i wanna go on a break. get away from papers. just lie in bed all day, read a couple of magazines, or a good book.

i don't even have time to go shopping!

and all my shoes are wearing out.

boooo....

i got no time for breakies or lunchies or dinnies anymore.

everyday eat junk food or instant noodles or the like.

so pathetic.

oh, and drink coffee...iced lattes upon iced lattes. even the coffee bean staff knows me by name already.

boohoohoo~~~ waaaah~~~~!!!

my life is OVER!!! OVER!!!!!!!!

Blind, high and dry.

really, really like the song "blind" by lifehouse.

rather poignant.

the song has been playing on repeat mode, and i haven't got sick of it.

the other one is high and dry by radiohead.

funny, coz these two songs are quite different. and they may or may not have bearings on my thoughts or emotions, be it in the past, current or in the future. hehehe...


Blind

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this timeI
never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this timeI never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

High & Dry

Two jumps in a week i bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy
Flying on your motorcycle watching all the ground beneath you drop
You'd kill yourself for recognition kill yourself to never ever stop
You broke another mirror your turning into something you are not
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Drying up in conversation you will be the one who cannot talk
All your insides fall to pieces you just sit there wishing you could still make love
There the ones who'll hate you when you think you've got the world all sussed out
There the ones who'll spit at you, you will be the on screaming out
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Oh it's the best thing that you've ever had the best thing that you've ever,ever had
Its the best thing that you've ever had the best thing that you've ever had has gone away
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry


ANYWAY, i remember blogging singing tips for some songs a while back. was considering if i should do something like that again. suddenly, i've been asked a lot of questions that i take FOREVER to answer. maybe i should write a book. hahahaaaa....or set up another blog just for that. avoid diluting the provoked thoughts expressed in my blog.

the many pains of life.

i've got no inspiration to write, nor have i been inspired to write about anything.

my life is turning into a major routine. this, despite my thursday hip-hop classes with chris that i just started last week. oh yes, and frequent saturday judgings for singout'08. and maybe the odd drinking session(s).

which reminds me..it's been awhile since i play mj!!! wah...i'm so sorry la...sunday's timing was super duper bad. maybe we should revert to the friday night plan. i have nothing much on saturdays anyway. =/

i was just wondering the other day. what if i just quit my job and plunge into singing full-time? haha...it's just a random and very rash thought la. i don't hate my job. it's just those "what-ifs". what if i didn't get swayed into not doing ALL the things i wanted to do? maybe i wouldn't be where i am now, which isn't necessarily a bad place/thing. i'm just wondering. if i pursued a bit harder. if i was more insistent. if i didn't allow some idiot to mess with my head. maybe i would be very different now.

was also thinking about not going out this week. stay at home. only go out if i have to. no drinks. no hanging out and chilling and getting all irritated by whatever may irritate me.

maybe do some healthy stuff for a change. go jog a bit more than last friday's feeble attempt. do some sit-ups and crunches to reach my goal of a toned tummy. i'm developing a mini beer belly. not very nice. eek!

oh, but it sounds like such a pain..................-whines-

waiting...waiting for the world to change

i wake up everyday and switch channel news asia on first thing in the morning. and if i don't get to watch it, i'll check channelnewsasia.com.

i can't wait to see the headlines. to see if MSK has been caught. or dead. or spotted. or SOMETHING besides "the hunt is still on".

yeah, this a****** has caused much pain and misery...especially to my weekend plans. I'm not directly affected, but it's bad enough.

i wonder if his eye twitches or he'll sneeze till his nose fall off, coz i betcha a zillion ppl are cursing at him.

maybe instead of keeping your eye out for someone limping, we should look for someone whose eyes are twitching or who is sneezing perpetually and whose nose is falling off.

bygones.

i've been trying to cut down on the drinking. actually, i'm not too sure if i'm subconsciously or consciously doing it. i was super duper lethargic on fri and sat night. fri was just weird coz we went wala's early and had a nice seat but the band was...not quite right for the ambience there. it wasn't a bad band...it was rather nice, classic. just not right for the mood. after 2 beers, we went coffee bean and had tea...and then went home coz i got tired. that was maybe, before 1am? early on all accounts.

sat...i had a bit of a headache but i couldn't abandon kai, so i went along. went clarke quay...MAD crowd. left. went timbre. MAD queue...but damn good band. dammit. suay. walked to barstop. i was whining all the way but kai tried to distract me by talking about ghosts/vampires and nightmares...and kept on telling me it's just "there". biangz.

good thing was that barstop was empty...but my headache got worse la. (p/s: i like their wine cooler, very very light). we left after melvin and kai finished the bucket of tuborg. i had ONE drink. only ONE drink. and we left...around 1am. again, early on all accounts.

and yesterday night, i had ONE hoegaarden at home. just ONE. partly coz my regular sunday night date was not available.

so yes, i don't know if i'm consciously not drinking too much or i just didn't feel like it.

we'll see how this week goes. then i'll make a more accurate assessment of my drinking status.

but i'm NOT an alcoholic.

something is wrong with the air-con in my office. off...on...off...on...MAKE UP YOUR BLARDY MIND LA!!!!

eh, i'm really sorry if i'm completely random recently. you must believe that i DO think about what i want to write, most of the time. it's just that i currently don't see the point of transiting from one idea to the next too beautifully or seamlessly. too tedious. my mind is getting lazy. i can't even be bothered to use big words and flowery language. to the point.

current fav song of the moment:

so fathers be good to your daughters
daughters will love like you do
and girls become lovers, who turn into mothers
so mothers be good to your daughters too


and since we are doing john mayer...

i'm waiting...(waiting)...waiting for the world to change~

itchy

i wake up every morning wishing i slept earlier the night before. so i won't feel tired, and i don't have to take a cab to work (most of the time).

and i end up sleeping late every single night.

well, at least now i don't count how many hours i sleep. i just sleep when i feel like, and wake up...usually late.

i used to count the number of hours of sleep i'll get the next day. and if it's less than 8 hrs, i used to feel tired the entire day.

guess this explains why i sleep on my way to work everyday, bus or cab, rain or shine.

and i always get sooooo tired after work, so i end up napping on my way home (or wherever i'm going).

i was using 3 screens simultaneously at work today. 2 desktop and 1 laptop. ha ha ha...how do i do it? i don't know man.

happy thoughts...may get to make my first overseas business trip this year. *cross fingers*

do you type your post, then give it a title? or do you think of a title, before you type the post?

like chicken-and-egg decision.

for me, it depends. i tend to have a theme for all my blog posts, and i deliberate the entire day before i finally type it out. ok, maybe not entire day, but enough to consolidate my thoughts and consider how best for me to make a point through a seamless transition. most of the actual words come as i type though.

yah...i put quite some thought in my posts.

even in this super random one.

anyway, back to the question. this entry...the title came after.

so as of now...as i'm typing, i still dunno wat title to give it.

maybe i'll just title it "itchy".

does the word "itchy" make you feel like scratching yourself?

or have u scratched already?

haha...